In a way, it was my own fault. I know that a lot of stuff gets stolen, per capita, here in 'Burque. Humans will be magpies. And still, I left  the window open.

You see, I thought that I'd be going out again, but I hadn't considered one important fact. We trolls, associating primarily with ogres, orcs, Jehovah's Witnesses, and other assorted fiendish thingies as we do, have crappy social lives. So I did not crawl out from under my bridge that night, and I forgot that the window was open.

Nor did I notice on Saturday, one of the laziest days of my existence. It was a long week of go-getting.....baby goats don't just trap, kill, roast and serve THEMSELVES, you know. So I didn't notice until Sunday morning, when I was heading out to run errands while all the crazy drivers were at church.

As I sat in the driver's seat, berating myself for you-know-what, I just felt that something was wrong.

I looked in the back. That's where the laptop computer was. It's a six or seven year old piece of death with a two gig drive, that hasn't booted up in 9 months or so. Every once in a while I get a hair up my ass to try and fix it. It's my "Rubik's Cube". It was still there, along with a table that I grabbed from the old bridge and hadn't brought in yet, and some pregnancy tests that a client had returned on Friday afternoon, as they were the wrong type. All untouched.

The stereo! Still there. Then I thought about the equipment sample I've been carrying. A little machine, the size of a small camera, that runs lipid and glucose tests on a drop of blood. It's worth about $500.00 by itself. And like my briefcase and my other samples, it was right where I left it.

I thought about my tapes. This vehicle came with a tape deck instead of a cd player, and before getting my cd player installed, I was taking the opportunity to get reaquainted with my old tape colllection. It seemed to all be there. I've always thought that it would be an ironic benefit to an eclectic musical taste, that no one would want to steal your tapes. And there they were, next to the pens.

But the pens belong in the ashtray.

Bingo. Some lawless bastard stole my ashtray.

Ignoring, the tapes, the medical samples, the tape deck, the laptop computer, and the miniature medical testing device, this archfiend made off with an ashtray, possibly 50 pennies, some fuses, and half a roll of Extra Strength Tums, which are  a staple of my diet.

So now when I look at my dashboard, I see a hole. It makes me sad that I left my window open.

But it makes me glad that crack makes people stupid.