The common and continual mischiefs of the spirit of party are sufficient to make it the interest and duty of a wise people to discourage and restrain it.

-George Washington-



Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Crime in the City

In a way, it was my own fault. I know that a lot of stuff gets stolen, per capita, here in 'Burque. Humans will be magpies. And still, I left  the window open.

You see, I thought that I'd be going out again, but I hadn't considered one important fact. We trolls, associating primarily with ogres, orcs, Jehovah's Witnesses, and other assorted fiendish thingies as we do, have crappy social lives. So I did not crawl out from under my bridge that night, and I forgot that the window was open.

Nor did I notice on Saturday, one of the laziest days of my existence. It was a long week of go-getting.....baby goats don't just trap, kill, roast and serve THEMSELVES, you know. So I didn't notice until Sunday morning, when I was heading out to run errands while all the crazy drivers were at church.

As I sat in the driver's seat, berating myself for you-know-what, I just felt that something was wrong.

I looked in the back. That's where the laptop computer was. It's a six or seven year old piece of death with a two gig drive, that hasn't booted up in 9 months or so. Every once in a while I get a hair up my ass to try and fix it. It's my "Rubik's Cube". It was still there, along with a table that I grabbed from the old bridge and hadn't brought in yet, and some pregnancy tests that a client had returned on Friday afternoon, as they were the wrong type. All untouched.

The stereo! Still there. Then I thought about the equipment sample I've been carrying. A little machine, the size of a small camera, that runs lipid and glucose tests on a drop of blood. It's worth about $500.00 by itself. And like my briefcase and my other samples, it was right where I left it.


I thought about my tapes. This vehicle came with a tape deck instead of a cd player, and before getting my cd player installed, I was taking the opportunity to get reaquainted with my old tape colllection. It seemed to all be there. I've always thought that it would be an ironic benefit to an eclectic musical taste, that no one would want to steal your tapes. And there they were, next to the pens.

But the pens belong in the ashtray.

Bingo. Some lawless bastard stole my ashtray.

Ignoring, the tapes, the medical samples, the tape deck, the laptop computer, and the miniature medical testing device, this archfiend made off with an ashtray, possibly 50 pennies, some fuses, and half a roll of Extra Strength Tums, which are  a staple of my diet.

So now when I look at my dashboard, I see a hole. It makes me sad that I left my window open.

But it makes me glad that crack makes people stupid.

Posted at 06:01 am by Joe_the_Troll

Mark
May 23, 2006   07:18 AM PDT
 
All I need is this ashtray. I don't need a laptop, tapes, pregnancy tests,..........

My old tuck was broken into in Oaktown. In that instance, the bastardss left my ashtray with about $20.00 in it in green (for bridge fare), but took all my CD's, etc. Fuckers.

tim
May 23, 2006   07:20 AM PDT
 
That's crazy, ain't it? All that stuff and they take...THE ASHTRAY?!...
Are you a Med. Tech.? My wife is.
Joe the Troll
May 23, 2006   07:28 AM PDT
 
Tim...

No, I'm a sales rep for a medical supply distributor.
Jeff kahz-lahs-key
May 23, 2006   03:26 PM PDT
 
That's priceless. Very gentlemanly, if you think about it. "I could have, but I didn't."
ruth
May 23, 2006   04:44 PM PDT
 
Very strange - people who steal sure are dumb. Same sort of thing has happened to me with theft from my garage.
Paula
May 24, 2006   03:49 PM PDT
 
Testing to see if I can leave a comment now. (My joke expired at midnight though.)
Dawn (webmiztris)
May 25, 2006   09:39 AM PDT
 
they took the ASHTRAY? omg, that's funny!
Joe the Troll
May 25, 2006   05:06 PM PDT
 
Paula-

Was it a joke about carriages and pumpkins, or something?
Mark
May 26, 2006   08:29 AM PDT
 
Yeah, c'mon, what's the joke?????
Name
May 30, 2006   05:49 PM PDT
 
Maybe the theifs car ashtray was full of quarters and did not want to flick his or her ashes outside.
Joe the Troll
May 30, 2006   10:40 PM PDT
 
Actually, not flicking outside is appreciated where I live......
 

Leave a Comment:

Name


Homepage (optional)


Comments







Previous Entry Home Next Entry



Joe_the_Troll
Male
New Mexico







   





<< May 2006 >>
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 01 02 03 04 05 06
07 08 09 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30 31

Rock & Roll........

Music
Is Here to Stay
All Nite
Fantasy
Hoochie Koo
Never Forgets
Ain't Noise Pollution






Contact Me

If you want to be updated on this weblog Enter your email here:




rss feed