First off, I want to thank everyone who commented, e-mailed, or called for their kindness and well wishes. I drove down to see the folks last Friday, returning Sunday. I just now feel like I've finally woken up, however.

It's difficult to predict what will happen now. Dad and both of the nurses tell me that she was much better without one med in particular, her vascular dilator. They tell me that last Thursday, after refusing the meds for a couple days, she was looking better, and was alert- even talking to them. She started taking them again on Friday morning, and was pretty well out of it by the time I got there. She was on and off with the pills while I was there, but I never saw lucidity. I can't say for certain that she even knew I was there, even though she looked right at me when I spoke to her several times. It's really hard to keep talking to her when it's like that.

So the plan is to offer her less of that particular pill. The other pills are absolutely necessary, and they don't want to cut the dilator out completely, either, so they're cutting the offing by 1/2. If she doesn't want to take them, no one will force her. The choice is hers. Right now, though, it seems that the greater danger is the fact that she's not drinking much water. She refuses it a lot, and is starting to dehydrate.

I wonder how conscious she is about her current lot. I can tell you, I wouldn't want to live like that for long.

On the lighter side, the drive was terrific. I was shown a shorter route that cut at least 150 miles off the trip, and was beautiful. I drove through desert for several hours, then went through the Tonto National Forest, a place I will definately return to . Then through more desert. I took plenty of pics, but since I'm still using the ol' emulsion coated ester, it will be a while (if ever) before they are posted. Angus wasn't the most comfortable, but he weathered what will probably be our last road trip together just fine overall, and was Mr. Popular as always. Between Dad and one of the nurses he got a month's worth of attention, and got to eat Mom's leftovers.

The actual drive reminded me of how much I love road trips, and how long since I've been on one. I used to go on road trips all the time when the Grateful Dead were still around, but since I moved here there's been just a couple. I just haven't found friends down here that like to do that. I had a long running friend that would always talk about it, but had an excuse every time the opportunity arose. He was the type of friend that only wanted to do things that were his idea. Then, if you didn't want to do what he suggested, he'd criticise you for "never wanting to do anything." Solo road trips can be okay, but they're always better with a friend. An old friend from college said he might come visit this fall, and we'd hit the road and wander New Mexico. I hope that happens.

So, getting back to Mom, it's really difficult to even guess what's going to happen, since she was at death's door a year ago as well. She could live a few more years, or she could go today, just like the rest of us. I'll just have to wait and see.

I thank you all once more.