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Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Dig this clown.
Evidently, he was so wrapped up in watching the news on 9/11/01 that he forgot to shave. Then he decided that he would not shave until Osama Bin Laden is captured. After deciding that the rest of us give a rat's ass, that is.
Evidently, he figures that he can help find Osama by looking just like him. Either that, or he's converted to Islam, but needed a cover story to fool the neighbors. Or he's one of those goons who needs to feel that he's making a contribution, even though he's really just living his life as always. Perhaps he's too cheap to buy a ribbon magnet for his car.
I have news for you, Fuzzface. No one is looking for Osama. The military group that was conducting a halfhearted sham of a search has been disbanded. You can grow that thing until you can use it as a sleeping bag and that won't change.
Hope you enjoyed your 15 minutes, dumbass.
I , however, intend to take REAL steps to aid my beloved country in her time of crisis. I, Joe the Troll, hereby state that I will not appear on American Idol until Osama Bin Laden is brought to justice.
So there.
Posted at 08:39 am by Joe_the_Troll
 | | | Fez Monkey
September 20, 2006 09:05 AM PDT
Gee ... your patriotism and obvious love of freedom has spurred me out of my considerable inertia. So, to help support our troops and prove that I am more American than everyone else, I will also give up something in a meaninless, hollow gesture.
I, the Fez Monkey, hereby swear an oath upon the Jebus and all things good, white, christian, and American, to forego eating squid until our brave and noble troops, led by our valiant commander in chief and head of our spiritual morality, George W Bush, capture Osama Bin Laden.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go outisde, salute the flag while singing God Bless America, and berate everyone who hates America (they're easy to spot ... they are the ones that don't have ribbon or flag magnets on their car).
Ook ook | |
| | | Joe the Troll
September 20, 2006 09:10 AM PDT
Good on you, Fez! In fact, I'm so filled with patriotic fury, I'm going to go one step further. I refuse to have sex with Heather Graham until Osama is captured and turned over to a group of elderly nuns for "ruler/knuckle torture."
Sorry, Heather. I just love my country that much. | |
| | | O' Tim
September 20, 2006 10:24 AM PDT
I though we were gonna leave Heather out of this... :) | |
| | | Paula
September 20, 2006 10:44 AM PDT
I bet that guy isn't going down on a lot of women lately. Just sayin'. Bleh. | |
| | | Jeff K
September 20, 2006 11:57 AM PDT
You keep Heather out of this and I'll keep this out of Heather... | |
| | | PJ
September 20, 2006 01:31 PM PDT
Oh I don't know, I think he's kinda cute in a Billy Goat Gruff sort of way. | |
| | | Fez Monkey
September 20, 2006 02:01 PM PDT
Trying to one-up me, eh troll-boy?
In that case, I vow not to have sex with any of the following until OBL is hanging by his ankles:
Lucy Liu
Scarlett Johansen
Jenna Fischer (sp?)
Grace Kelly
Sophia Loren
Any of the Laker Girls
I guess that leaves everyone else available.
Oh, and Paula -- ick!
Ook ook | |
| | | O' Tim
September 20, 2006 02:52 PM PDT
Paula - you gotta admit that's one helluva of flavor saver he's got!
Grace Kelley, eh Fez? Good to hear you're swearing off the necrophilia. "Everyone else available" will be so relieved...
And guess what? Sophia Loren and I share the same birthday! Google it NOW (Today, that is, you see?) | |
| | | Joe the Troll
September 20, 2006 04:23 PM PDT
I agree with O'Tim..... nothing ruins a beautiful woman's attractivenesss more than death.
Ick, indeed. | |
| | | Joe the Troll
September 20, 2006 04:29 PM PDT
"Oh I don't know, I think he's kinda cute in a Billy Goat Gruff sort of way.'
I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot fork. | |
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