Question:

If you were a sauce, would you thicken as you stand? Why or why not?

Discuss freely.

Last Saturday, I saw a note from Paula challenging me to do a Thursday 13. Since I missed that deadline, I'll give it a whirl this week. So here it is............

13 movies I can watch over and over and over and never get sick of, ever. In no particular order.

1) Being There

Actually, this is first for a reason. It jumped to mind first. Peter Sellers is brilliant here, and incredibly subtle. I never fail to catch some small thing I missed the first 20-odd times I saw it. Sellers was one of the two best actors EVER.

2) The Adventures of Robin Hood

Classic Errol Flynn swashbuckler, and no one ever did them better. Technically, Captain Blood belongs here as well.

3) The Wizard of Oz

In this age of rampant remakes, this remains untouched. Why? Because even TRYING would be stupid. This film captured something sweet, innocent and beautiful that just can't be competed with. They can improve the special effects, but there is no better magic.

4) The Philadelphia Story

The movie that put Katherine Hepburn and James Stewart (the OTHER best ever) on the map. A screwball comedy that's almost too smart to be called that, with a fantastic cast rounded out by Cary Grant. This is about the only film where I also recommend the remake, a musical called High Society.

5) The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

This was difficult, as this list could easily be all westerns. The story is cool, the cinematography is top notch, but what really grabs me is the subplots- the little stories that have nothing to do with the main story, but round out Sergio Leone's portait of Civil War America. It was these vignettes that nudged Once Upon a Time in the West off the list, though I doubt I'll get sick of that one, either.

6) Goodfellas

I'm not big on Gangster flicks, usually, but I love this one. It's not only stylish, it's true. And according to the History Channel, it's pretty damned accurate as well.

7) Harold and Maude

As mentioned a week or so ago, one of my favorite cult films. A strange and darkly hilarious film about appreciating life. That Ruth Gordon was something else, wasn't she?

8) The Thin Man

Netflix just got this one to me today, and I'll watch it even though I already know who the murderer is and where the body is hidden. It's the chemistry between one of Hollywood's greatest pairings, William Powell and Myrna Loy, that makes it. Hollwood doesn't often get it THAT right.

9) Harvey

A great actor's greatest performance. Stewart is brilliant in this endearing comedy about a lush and his invisible six-foot rabbit. I can get so busy watching him that I forget to listen to the dialogue. I also have a soft spot for this one since I participated in my high school's merciless assassination of the play.

10) Young Frankenstein

No explanation is really needed, is it? You'll know the joke is coming, but you'll laugh at it anyway. Few comedies have that power. I considered Blazing Saddles, of course, but so many of the jokes are too obscure for younger audience members.

11) A Clockwork Orange

The music, the message, the ingenious direction. This movie looks like the 70's and the future at the same time. I especially love the fight against Billy Boy and his droogs, choreographed to Rossini's "The Thieving Magpie". Violent actions set to beautiful music, this scene underscores the theme of a complete person's need for his/her "darker" side.

12) Rope

Did I mention that I think highly of Jimmy Stewart? So did Alfred Hitchcock, who used him in four films. This one is a pressure cooker of suspense, shot to have the look and the flow of the play it was based on. To insure that, Hitchcock shot this in 15 minute segments, with no editing. If someone messed up in minute 14, back to the beginning!

13) Duck Soup

Unlike Young Frankenstein, you'll NEVER remember all the jokes no matter how many times you see it. This is the epitome of the screwball comedy, and mighty clever, to boot. I wish I could get away with half the crap Groucho could get away with.

Well, I guess that didn't hurt too much, even considering the fact that I accidently flushed the whole thing at #6 and had to start over. Still, it's good that these things are only monthly.

Right?

....but in the meantime, we're going to get down to the nitty gritty on this Blogthings thing....(?).......

What kind of SOUL are you??????? Here's me.

***You Are a Visionary Soul***

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.
Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul.
You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.
Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.

You have great vision and can be very insightful.
In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.
Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.
You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofsoulareyouquiz/

I'm beginning to think that perhaps these quizzes aren't exactly scientific.....

***Your Monster Profile***

Undead Hunter

You Feast On: Pie

You Lurk Around In: Flocks of Freshmen

You Especially Like to Torment: Pop Stars

What's Your Monster Name?
http://www.blogthings.com/monsternamegenerator/

Jeff at Boiled Dinner (see the link to your right) led me to a site with this test. It's to see if you could pass the citizenship test. Let's face it, many people who have a birthright to American citizenship don't know SHIT about America.

Here's my results:

***You Passed the US Citizenship Test***

Congratulations - you got 9 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?
http://www.blogthings.com/couldyoupasstheuscitizenshiptestquiz/

How will YOU do?

I was playing around on my computer recently when I had nothing better to do. I could have been cleaning, dusting, packing for my impending move, or going through huge piles of clutter to find things that I can throw out prior to the move, so it isn't like I had nothing to do. I just had nothing BETTER to do.

So I started farting around with Google, to see what can actually be looked up on the internet.

It turns out that almost anything can, so I decided to make a game of it. Within certain restrictions, I wanted to see how long it took me to get no hits on a Google search. I didn't have the restictions right off the bat; the "rules" developed as I went along.

I started with the pseudo-word "ploink". I chose that because of my lifelong affinity for nonsense words, with "bink" and "spooge" being two other long time faves. "Ploink" got 55,400 hits, starting with the "Ploink Brothers". I can't tell you anything about them, however, since the site was in German and my knowledge of that language comes entirely from beer bottles and signs I saw on "Hogan's Heroes".

Next I tried dogs eating apples, which came back with 1,220,000 hits. I realized that I hadn't used quotation marks, and thus got any site in sight that had any of the three chosen words. I wondered why, given that fact, I only got 1,220,000 hits. I can only guess that that was all Google figured I would have time to look at that day. I tried it again in quotes and got "about four" hits.

Now, THAT bothered me. "About four"? It seems that a computer that can count to 1,220,000 could count to four with a reasonable degree of certainty. It turns out that the two it didn't show me were identical to the two that it did, so there were exactly two. Neither site had any problem with a dog wanting to eat apples.

Next was "Krishna Awakens". This hit 278 times. The guy's an insomniac. He should lay off the sodas after 6:00.

"My spleen hurts" got 429 hits. This bothered me as well, since I was getting more esoteric yet finding more sites than the last two times. I didn't stay. If I read too much about it, MY spleen might start hurting.

By now I decided to have a minimum of two words, to keep it from being too difficult, and a maximum of three, to keep it from being too easy. I also decided that to find a zero, I would have to get fairly ridiculous.

So then I tried "trees run fast." Amazingly enough, I found 35 sites, although there was always a comma after "trees". I decided that that counts anyway, since it's MY game. I also learned what to do if a rhino charges at me. You guessed it.......... look for trees, and run fast. I really did not need to be told that second part.

I figured I had it the next time, as I typed in "The moon farts." "About" 26 hits. 26! I didn't read them, because I really didn't want to know. I can tell you that there were no commas.

I tried "The Queen's panties", since I figured that no one would want to write about that. I mean, ick. Lady Di's, perhaps, or Fergie's since they'd be laying around all over Europe, but the Queen's? What sick bastard would want to write about THAT? Ask the 50 sick bastards that did.

Finally, "twelve silver pigeons" got me nowhere. I didn't look, but it would be ironic if I had simply picked the wrong number.

So, it took 8 tries to get nowhere with Google. What did I learn?

First, I learned that there just might be too much information on the internet.

Second, I realized how absurdly easy it is to get that info. I grew up in the days of library cards and the Reader's Guide. Finding "about 26" articles about the moon farting would have been a career opportunity when I was in school.

Third, I learned that I can be awfully easy to entertain.

What's YOUR Googletrolling score?

Okay, you've chosen your BT client, your high-speed connection is rolling, and you're ready to download something. What shall it be, and where shall you get it?

BT sites are easy to find. I find ones by Googling "Bit Torrent (thing I want to download)". It's that easy.

Say, for instance, that Hillbilly Tim wants to find some monkey porn. He would want to search for  "bit torrent monkey porn." If he want to be more specific, he can type "bit torrent gibbon porn" to get just the naughty gibbons, and not those sick orangutan bastards. (BTW, I've known Hillbilly Tim since 1974, and I can assure you that he is in no way aroused by simians of any type. Keep him away from your parrots, though.)

So you can search for music, bootleg, books, comics, movies, whatever. There are several things to be aware of, however.

First and foremost, what is legal? There are sites that are very careful about what is allowed, and others that couldn't care less. Their attitude won't shield you, however. When it comes to music and video, follow this rule of thumb. If what you are about to download is available to buy anywhere in any way, it is illegal to download. That includes stores, record clubs, pay-per-views, and downloads for sale. That's why I stick to the unofficial recordings. There is no copyright being asserted on that material, and many bands do in fact support the trading of unofficial recordings. There is a vast trading community out there that can amaze you with the things that they are willing to share. Notice the words "trading" and "share". No selling.

With books it is the same, except in the case of comics, because those are back issues of periodicals. It's legal to sell your old comics at a profit, so it can't really be illegal to share them for free.

When you go to a site, ALWAYS read the FAQ and the rules. Different sites have different rules, and different things allowed. This is ESPECIALLY important if a friend has given you an invite to the site. Your behavior reflects on your friend.

Some BT sites are open, others require a membership. The latter usually has some sort of share ratio requirement. Remember from session 1 that you are uploading while you download, then just uploading. It is within the mores of BT that you should always endeavor to give back as much as you took. After all, you're getting something for free. The least you can do is pass it on. Since uploading is almost always slower than downloading, this means keeping the torrent open until your up/down ratio is at least 1. Some sites will enforce this by having minimum ratios. When you go below the minimum, you can ONLY upload until you get your numbers up.

All this said, I can lead you to some sites. Unfortunately my favorite is not accepting new members at this time. There are still a lot of good ones out there, though.

UNOFFICIAL RECORDINGS, AUDIO AND VIDEO

bt.etree                          Mostly jam bands. This is where it started for me!

Trader's Den                  A good variety.

Zomb                              I've gotten quite a bit with this one, as well. They do 
                                       cool things with your cursor!

Bootcity                           The name says it all.

Yeeshkul!                        This site focuses on Pink Floyd, loosely.

Genesis Movement         Focus on Genesis and its' members.

The Music Never Stopped Project    Grateful Dead, natch.

Long Live Rock               The Who and related artists.

COMICS, BOOKS, AND MUSIC

Oink                                 Lots of stuff, but be selective.

TorrentSpy                       A lot of everything.

Most of these sites are open and easy to sign up to. I have a few invites to Oink I can give out. You can find me on these sites under the name RioGrandeJoe.

If you're looking at the bootleg sites and plan to get into trading, note the different file formats. Many sites are picky about lossless ancestries, meaning that a recording is not and has never been in a "lossy" format like mp3. If you download any boots in mp3 or any other format that does not give lossless reproduction, be sure never to offer that for torrent or trade without telling people. It's another "mores" thing.

I would be happy to create a torrent at one of these sites for learning on, if readers would like. Some Pink Floyd, perhaps? DIscuss what you would like amongst yourselves.

I know this seems like a lot of info, and we're only half done, but it really is simplicity itself once you learn it and get into a groove.Go see what's out there. If you see a torrent you might want to get later, it is ALWAYS a good idea to bookmark it. They can slip away sometimes!

Next I'll cover exactly how to start a torrent and what all that crap on the BT client means.

......who thinks that a video of an exploding fireworks factory is cool as hell?

I guess it's just that part of me that still lives in Never Never Land and just won't grow up, no way!