1. First meal eaten- Carne Asada burrito from Losbetos. Maybe the best burrito in a city filled with burritos, and it's right around the corner now.
2. First meal prepared once the kitchen was ready- Pizza Fish.
3. First neighbor met- Ruben next door. He's a homebrewer also.
4. First thing not working right- The toilet handle. You have to jiggle it or it will flush forever.
5. First movie watched-- Raiders of the Lost Ark. No particular reason, it just came up on the Netflix queue.
6. First CD listened to- Miles Davis, Kind Of Blue
7. First bootleg listened to/watched - Audio- Anders Osbourne w/ Big Chief Monk Boudreax 10-23-02 State Theater, Falls Church Va    - Video- Led Zeppelin, Knebworth, 1979      
8. First beer- Boulder Beer's Planet Porter                 
9. First friend to see the new place- Amy C., when she helped me move.   
10. First mystery- what (or who) is buried in the back yard that Angus wants to dig up? 
11. First TV show I thought of when I saw the oven- The Dick Van Dyke Show
12. First freaky dream- I'm in my new place (it's not the place I actually live in, but in the dream I understand that it is my new place. You know how dreams are.) I'm just going about my business at about bedtime, and I'm alone in the living room, when I hear a voice from in the room say "Get out of my house!". Then another voice says "Go to bed." The second voice is even scarier because it is trying to sound reassuring.
13. First thing Angus got in trouble for-- crapping on the floor. I was RIGHT THERE and he didn't even ask to go out. Luckily, it was one of the loafy ones.

....some smartass posts some more tests! Will there NEVER be time for sleep?

I found two cool quizzes at a site called Astroblog (pronounced RASTRORAWG) the other day. For some reason, however, I can't get the links to the quizzes to work here, but you can find them at Astro. The first was:

What is your sense of humor like?

My results:

The Wit

(57% dark, 30% spontaneous, 15% vulgar)
your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK

You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.

Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.

You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais

The second test was:

Would you have been a Nazi in Hitler's Germany?

My results:

The Expatriate

Achtung! You are 23% brainwashworthy, 18% antitolerant, and 28% blindly patriotic 
Congratulations! You are not susceptible to brainwashing, your values and cares extend beyond the borders of your own country, and your Blind Patriotism does not reach unhealthy levels. If you had been German in the 30s, you would've left the country.

One bad scenario -- as I hypothetically project you back in time -- is that you just wouldn't have cared one way or the other about Nazism. Maybe politics don't interest you enough. But the fact that you took this test means they probably do. I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt.

Did you know that many of the smartest Germans departed prior to the beginning of World War II, because they knew some evil shit was brewing? Brain Drain. Many of them were scientists. It is very possible you could have been one of them.

Conclusion: born and raised in Germany in the early 1930's, you would not have been a Nazi.
 

"Just another dead doper. And a dirt bag."

Those were Rush Limbaugh's words about Jerry Garcia upon the guitarist's death. Rush, the paragon of the righteous right, of course felt justified in this offhand dismissal of a wonderful musician's passing. "When you strip it all away, Jerry Garcia destroyed his life on drugs. And yet he's being honored, like some godlike figure. Our priorities are out of whack, folks." he went on to say.

I didn't find these words justified at all. Jerry was far from perfect, but he brought a lot of joy to a lot of people, and helped a good many along the way as well. I remember the Rex Foundation and the Seva Foundation, and I'm sure there are many charities I'm forgetting (A Google search for "Jerry Garcia's charities" was cluttered with stolen toilet stories). He didn't deserve to be put down by anyone, much less someone whose main talent and endeavor is self-promotion.

I didn't like Rush before that. Afterwards, I really loathed him.

Since I'm not Jewish, then, I allowed myself the luxury of feeling GREAT when Rush was charged with felony prescription drug abuse. After all, Rush was on record saying things like this:

"Too many whites are getting away with drug use...Too many whites are getting away with drug sales...The answer is to go out and find the ones who are getting away with it, convict them and send them up the river, too."

and

...We are becoming too tolerant as a society, folks, especially of crime, in too many parts of the country.... This country certainly appears to be tolerant, forgive and forget. I mean, you know as well as I do, you go out and commit the worst murder in the world and you just say you're sorry, people go, "Oh, OK. A little contrition."... People say, "I feel better. He said he's sorry for it." We're becoming too tolerant, folks.

                                         --Rush Limbaugh TV show 10/5/95

Of course, in a world ruled by ideals he would be hung on his own gallows. But we don't live there. Colonel Law 'n' Order made a deal with the court yesterday, after pleading not guilty on Friday . If he complies with it he'll be off the hook in 18 months. "Do you think if there was any real evidence, we would have reached a settlement?" he said.

Well, actually, yes I do. I don't think there would have been an agreement if Rush thought for one second that he could beat the rap. The chest banger whose whole schtick is proclaiming himself right? Are we kidding? Nothing would beat the ratings boost that fighting this and winning would give him. He'd just have to be sure he DOES win.

Aye, there's the rub.

We Americans know what these agreements mean, anyway. We see it all the time. People make these agreements because they are guilty but aren't going to pay for it, because they 1) are rich 2) are famous 3) know something useful about someone worse than them. I think most of us would also doubt that people with no evidence against them will submit to drug rehab and random testing for 2 1/2 years.

So the agreement is that he continue with rehab and tests, and cannot own a gun. Too tolerant, indeed.

I'm actually a little saddened about the no-gun provision. I'd hoped he could get together with Dick Cheney sometime. Maybe do a little hunting.

Okay, so you've chosen and installed a BT client, scanned the sites, picked something to snag, and wondered if I'd ever get around to finishing this damn tutorial. What to do now?

Believe it or not, you've done the tough stuff already.

The next thing to do is set aside some space for everything. I have a folder on my C drive labelled "BT Download". Inside I have folders for "Music" and "Books". Everything I download is in a seperate folder. This is important especially in music, where two completely unrelated torrents might have files with the same name, such as the ever popular "Track 1". You just have to admire people with that much imagination.

Having gotten that ready, you then go to the web page for the item you wish to download. Somewhere on that page you will see a link to download a file. This link will usually say "Download" or it will have the name of a file with an extension of ".torrent". This is called a torrent file, and it is used to connect your client to that particular swarm, and no other. When asked where to put this file, I will make a new folder in the appropriate place and name it after the item I'm downloading. If I'm getting a Neil Young concert from Feb. 27, 1971, for example, I'll name the folder "NY 1971-02-27". When you collect bootlegs for a long while, you get used to using that dating scheme for easier sorting. Some folks might want to put the venue in there, as well, but I save that for the lists and labels.

Once you have the torrent file, you are ready to go. Open up your client, then click on "torrent" or "start torrent", depending on what client you've chosen (I use utorrent, so I'll be instructing from that). The program will kick up a search window, so you can find your torrent file. Go to the folder you've created, and click on that file.

The client will then ask you where you want to put the new files. I always put them in the same folder as the torrent file. Why complicate things?

After you click on a place, the client takes over. You really don't need to do anything more, except remember to share. You can stop the download anytime, and pick up right where you left off later. That's one of the best things about BT.

The buttons on top and the tabs on the bottom are pretty much self explanatory, so I'll leave that alone unless I'm asked to explain it. The space in the middle has your download info, and that's where the action is. On my client, I have the info organized like this, from left to right.

1) Torrent name.

2) Torrent number. Since I have cable, I have the bandwidth to handle four or five torrents at once. If you have DSL, you might want to keep it at one or two. Remember, you only have so much bandwidth and the different torrents must share it. If you open too many, all will slow down, and surfing the net at the same time will be a hassle.

3) Download size. BT was designed to help people upload large amounts of info. I have been on torrents that were up to nine gigabytes.

4) Amount of data downloaded.

5) Percentage completed.

6) Status. This will usually say "downloading" or "seeding".

7) # of seeds. This is the number of people in the torrent who have 100% and are continuing to upload, THAT YOU ARE CONNECTED TO. There might be 55 people seeding from all over the world, but if your client has only connected to 18 of them, that is the number that will show on the client. There is also, on utorrent, a number in parenthesis called a "scrape". This, in the example given, would be 55.

8) # of peers. These are the other people downloazding. You will connect to them because you will swap data with them, so that everybody, including you, finishes sooner. This works just like the # of seeds slot.

9) Download speed.

10) Upload speed.

11) ETA. Since speeds can vary quickly, take this data with a grain of salt.

12) Amount of data uploaded.

13) Share ratio. This should always, when possible end up above one.Since upload speeds are slower than download speeds, this almost always means staying on after you complete the download. The only exception is when the original uploader is uploading very slowly on a popular torrent. I am, as I write this, downloading a SBD of the Jeff Beck Group in 1972. I've downloaded 76.9% and have a share ratio of 1.76. Except for the hiatus while I moved, I stayed on, while the other leechers AND the seeder came and went, so most of the other leechers have gotten the data from me, not the seeder.

14) Available data. This is how many copies of the complete data the client sees on your computer AND the computers of those you're connected to. No one is looking at your hard drive, so don't worry. Your client is announcing how much of the data you have.

This last one is interesting. Suppose I am on a torrent with one other leecher and no seeder. I have 80% and the other guy has 45%. If my 80% includes all the data for the 55% he still needs, and his 45% includes all the data for the 20% that I still need, then we can just swap the data and both of us will complete WITHOUT the seeder. It doesn't happen often, but it's something to look for if you see something you want that isn't being seeded.

It is very helpful if the client has access to ports that are not firewalled. You will know if yours are by looking at the torrent stats at the website you're downloading from. They all have ways to show if you are firewalled. Firewalling can slow things down by making you impossible to connect to unless you initiate the connection. If there are 10 peers and 8 of them are firewalled, that torrent will run slowly because those 8 people will never connect with each other. Firewalls are very useful tools, but should be adjusted to suit your BT client. That is usually pretty easy. Go get your modem manual and read THIS and you'll be good to go.

One last thing about the process itself- BT enables you to have great download speeds, but does not insure it. SOmetimes you just have to wait because things are moving slowly. Other times, the people on the other end may be using a work computer that has to be off at night, or have problems with their systems. Always remember that you were getting something for free in the first place, and either wait for it or move on to something else. I've gotten some real gems just from hanging on.

DIfferent things will come in different file formats, and may require fiddling with. Music files will almost always be compressed, but many sites require that to be "lossless" compression, so that no wavelengths are lost in translation. I download from those sites almost exclusively. The most common that you'll see are .flac and .shn. There is another (.ape) that I see once in a blue moon, but it hasn't really mattered yet. Download the free programs behind those links to check the data on the music files and decompress them to .wav files that you can burn.

DVD files are usually uncompressed, and in a format that can be burned straight to disc. I don't know why.

Comic books will usually be made to be read with CDisplay, a great little viewer that also works with .jpg, bitmap, .gif and who knows what else. Some comics will be in Adobe format, as will most other texts.

That all said, you're ready to roll. I've found a wealth of information and entertainment within easy reach by using this system, and I'm sure you will as well. Get in the habit of keeping lists EARLY. Once you have a big pile and want to do some trading, that list will become necessary, and a daunting task to begin at that stage. I'm available for questions.

And in a year or so, send me your list. You might have found something I've been looking for!

 

One of the best things about my new place is the kitchen. It's not a great kitchen, but the old one was AWFUL. It was long and narrow, and never seemed clean even after a scrubbing. Being in a very old house in one of Albuquerque's oldest neighborhoods, and suffering from lack of maintenance, it was a constant battleground against vermin. The new kitchen, while somewhat outdated, is layed out in a much more helpful manner, and is maintained and clean. This not only helps me cook better, but allows me to return to a hobby I've sorely missed-- homebrewing.

I'm a person who needs his hobbies, and have been stymied of late in all of them. I haven't had the space for a darkroom, have had soft - and hardware issues that make burning my concert boots a challenge at best, and that horrible kitchen kept me from brewing. Brewing requires sanitation, and I never felt it was possible there.

So I was tickled pink to bottle my first batch of mead the other day. I made it a year or so ago in a neighbor's kitchen, but never got it into the bottle. Mead, if you're not familiar, is a general term for honey wine. There are more specific terms for meads made with various ingredients. This was basically a trial batch, just a simple mead made with over-processed Costco honey. Still, I'm very pleased with it. It's rather tasty, came out nice and clear, and has a decent kick to it. If you'd like to know more about it and how it is made, read the pamphlet that I wrote for a class in Technical Writing.

I guess the pleasure I get from crafting a fine brew or mead is similar to that of a cook who watches people enjoying the fruits of his/her labors. It's not just an expresssion of the time, care, and work that goes into it, but also a self-expression, as far as what you choose to make and how you make and present it. I make something that, if it is good, must be savored, because only that five gallon batch will ever taste EXACTLY that way. I've made some unique and tasty brews that I was proud of, and now I'm going to explore making both meads and wines.

I intend to make another batch soon, with raspberries and raw honey from a nearby beekeeper. When the apricot tree in the front yard bears fruit, there's another five gallons.

This will be a fun kitchen.

I was watching, for the nth time, "You Only Live Twice." I tell you, I can watch those James Bond movies over and over and over and never get sick of them. While I was watching Ol' Sean sneak into SPECTRE headquarters, I thought the same thing I always think when I watch one of these movies.

Man, Blofeld's got one hell of a place here.

I mean, it's huge. Really huge. It has it's own indoor monorail, that's how huge. I've never lived in a place that had its' own monorail.

It had gigantic laboratories.It presumably had living quarters and kitchen facilities for the hundreds of people milling around, assisting in the evil plot du jour.It had office space, bathroom facilities, recreation areas, and a sizable room from which one may malevolently launch and control an orbiting satellite. You can't do that from MY living room. Lord, have I tried.

It isn't just Blofeld, either. Scaramonga had some digs. Yanus, too. Doctor No had a decent setup, but it would require a MAJOR overhaul, decor-wise. That place was SO 1962. The comic book baddies as well-- Magneto, Modok, HYDRA, Red Skull, just to name a few-- all had these incredible fortresses that no one knew about.

That always bothered me, being the overly analytical sort. How could anyone build a five-mile-radius base of operations with all the latest in espionage equipment inside a mountain or on an island or under Hoboken without ANYONE NOTICING???? Especially in modern times, when we have satellites that can check you for colon polyps. And who does the building, anyway? How are the raw materials, such as the nuclear pile that lights the lights and heats the pirahna tank, procured? JUST WHO IS THE ARCH-FIEND'S CONTRACTOR?

And those hundreds of people milling about. Where do they come from? How does the global extortionist man his operation? They must know that something is going on, since they probably don't have much contact with their families, and may notice that those that try to leave are generally shot. I'm sure they've noticed that there's no withholding of  taxes on the pay stub. Some seem educated, especially the ones operating the nuclear pile and the orbiting rockets. Did Blofeld hold a job fair? Hire headhunters? I  imagine an underworld equivalent to the Stanton test, with questions like this-

 If I knew that my employer were trying to inflame tensions between The USA and Russia, thus beginning an age of nuclear terror, I would:

1. Do nothing, it's none of my business.
2. Share my suspicions with my supervisor.
3. Go immediately to the police, after my shift.

Well, I can't answer the question about the contractor, except to say that of all the people mentioned, he must be the most dangerous. After all, he never gets caught. How many times have Blofeld and Magneto been nailed? And every time they are, what happens? That's right-- another high-tech fortress up in smoke. Another future job for Mr. Contractor.

I can, however, guess who the scores of workers are, and so can you, if you've been watching the news.

Illegal immigrants. It has to be.

Unscrupulous people sneaking over our borders and taking jobs away from our disgruntled nuclear scientists, evil astronauts, and sinister janitors. Magneto's probably holding his job fair in Brownsville, where they're just glad to have SOMEONE leasing space at the Convention Center.

Who else could be operating these bases in such great numbers without detection? Who else would get an education and then work without benefits? Who else would give their lives just to take a stab at global extortion? No true-born American would. One might try the extortion thing, but dying for it would be far too inconvenient. He'd miss next week's "CSI."

Meanwhile, our OWN evil scientists are forced by this illicit competition to demean themselves working for organizations so evil they make SPECTRE look like the Campfire Girls. Organizations like Exxon or Merck. It's sad to see something like that happen to a MIT graduate. Meanwhile, the government's worried about the guy flipping burgers at Jack in the Box.

This is why I support tighter borders. We need to keep these folks out entirely. Let's face it, the hordes of SPECTRE aren't going to sign up for a guest worker program.

And I sincerely doubt we'll get the Red Skull to start paying into Social Security.

13 blog names I considered before choosing "Under the Bridge."

1. Joe's Super Happy Mega Fun Palace of Love and Lollipops!
2. Death to All Who Oppose Me.
3. Blog? I got yer blog hangin'!
4. Maiming and Agony to All Who Oppose Me.
5. Why You're Wrong.
6. Knockin' Down the Golden Door. (Sorry, I just couldn't resist.)
7. The Don't Say "Fuck" Blog.
8. Itching and Swelling to All Who Oppose Me.
9. The Den of Iniquity.
10. Cannery Row.
11. The Right Whinge.
12. Spooooooooooooooooooooooge!
13. Free Beer!

Jen's worded it perfectly right here. I really don't need to add anything.

Sorry, Mark. Incompetence wins. Comcast never showed up. I had a MAJOR argument with an absolutely horrible customer service supervisor, which ended in me cancelling my account.

I spoke to someone competent today, so I'm rescheduled for Wednesday. We'll see.

Monopolies SUCK!!!!!

I'm moving the big stuff to the new bridge this afternoon, then spending tomorrow moving it around and around until it looks good. I'll be incommmunicado until Monday night, if Comcast gets it done right. Longer, if not.

Place your bets now!