As most of you are no doubt aware, my Trolling the Unerground feature comes with a contest. With every entry, I provide a clue to the next entry's topic. The first to figure out who it is wins a copy of the underground reccording that the post is derived from. Usually, it comes off without a hitch. This time, not so much.

The clue to my next entry was :

"This group was the first, and to my knowledge the only, to have albums in the #1 and #2 American chart slots at the same time."

The info I have says very clearly that this band was the first to do so, and even points out specifically that the Beatles had not done such a thing. However, jollykay has provided my with two sources that say the Beatles DID do it, and substantially earlier (insert Popeye- like under-the-breath muttering about wiseacre dames here). As a result, well, I just don't know. I'll tell you this much - the next topic is not The Beatles. (See how I narrowed that down for you?) So, to be fair, I will provide another clue. Here 'tis:

One of this group's original members later worked with a former Beatle.

See, I'm practically HANDING it to you. The Troll is nothing if not magnanimous. Deadline is this Friday.

Thanks and kudos to all who responded to last week's poll; "What two people from history would you like to spend and evening in a pub with?" While no one inspired me to change my original answer, I thought that many of you had some great ideas. In addition to Franklin and Twain, I could also see having a little revelry with Erroll Flynn, Hunter S. Thompson, Dizzy Gillespie, and Grouch Marx. I could also imagine tipping a few with the Marquis de Sade, but I think I might toss a few drinks into the planter while he looks elsewhere, just to maintain an edge. I've heard he was the sort that couldn't be trusted.

This week's poll is back to the usual format, and I think it's a pretty tough one. You'll find it in the sidebar to your right. Have fun!

1. A brick from the old Acacia house - When I went to college the first time, I joined a fraternity called Acacia. It was a little diffferent from most houses; We were, in fact once described as the "smoker toker jokers of campus." The old house was condemned the year before I arrived, and the frat was then living in campus housing, but we'd go to the old house every once in a while to party. On one such drunken escapade, we were hooting it up in the crow's nest atop the three story house, and my pledge father noticed that the bricks in the chimney were coming loose. He decided he was going to walk across the roof to "get his son a brick". As drunk as he was, we were begging him not to do it, but he was the obstinate sort. He drunkenly reeled across the roof, got the brick, and reeled back. Thet next summer, being stuck in the country with nothing to do, I stylishly painted the word "Acacia" on it in black and gold (our colors) and still display it atop my entertainment center.
2. A small glass pyramid - A Christmas gift from a gorgeous girl I used to see. I was more into her than she was into me, but we had some good times, so I keep it as a remembrance. I don't know where she is now, but I hope she's happy and healthy, and still rockin' out.
3. The "footbowl" - My second pot pipe, which I got way back in high school. My first was a homemade deal fashioned from pipe fittings, which I loaned to a friend who loaned it to a friend who got busted with it. After that, my brother gave me a little ceramic pipe shaped like a foot. You draw off the big toe! He'd had it for years before that, so it has to be close to 30 years old. I rarely use it, but it does remind me of some good times back in the day.
4. Grandpa's leather coin purse - I never knew either of my gradfathers, as my mother's dad died shortly before I was born (I got his name) and the other died soon after I was born. Since I never knew him, my grandmother gave me his small leather coin purse that says "Dinosaur Caverns, Az." and has a picture of a dinosaur on it. It contains one of his rosaries. It's a small connection to a grandpa that I never knew, and a big reminder of a grandma that we lost to cancer back in the early 80's.
5. An old Scrabble set - When that same Grandma would come from Chicago to the country to visit, Scrabble was definately on the itinerary. She loved that game no end and would play it for hours. It's missing some pieces, but it's one of the classic old sets that has the WOODEN pieces! It reminds me of the many hours that I spent playing with Mom and Grandma. I still miss her.
6. A small woven angel - My mom was the arts and crafts sort. Every spare second, she was knitting or crocheting or embroidering something of some sort. When she had the first stroke, I think the frustration of losing her hand's ability to do these things came closer to killing her than the clot did. I also have an afghan that she made, but I always keep this little woven angel for the Christmas tree top in public display, and always top the tree with it. I always will.
7. A pair of rosewood nunchucks - I never learned how to use them well, but I certainly creased my skull a few times trying. It was a high school graduation gift from my best friend, whom you may have seen commenting here under the name Hillbilly Tim. Thus, they are indispensible.
8. A burlap hanging - It's about 6' x 4', and has a lithograph of some 19th century bicyclists posing with their old bikes, the kind with the huge front wheels. It was given to me by my old college buddy Marz, when he got married. He and his wife Sue have remained the best of friends to this day, and that hanging that used to be in his dorm room reminds me of the good times we had bonging our brains out in his room between classes.
9. A picture of Kansas - not the state. Kansas was a chihuahua I had as a kid, and was one of the best dogs ever. He weighed five pounds at his heaviest, and was always very quiet and very friendly with people, but fearless with the neighbor's doberman and geese. When they came over, he chased them right out without an argument! It was a riot to watch a five pound dog fiercely protecting a five acre plot! He was a great friend. He died the day before I turned 20, proving that Neil Young was right..... you can't be 20 on Sugar Mountain.
10. A cigarette holder from Hawaii - It is a metal case with some Hawaiian art on it, and a lighter build into the top. I don't know where my dad got it, as he stopped smoking ten years before I was born. He gave it to me when I was 19 or so, and I never used it all that much either, since it was a bit bulky. It would have been useful had I been in the habit of wearing jackets over my shirts, but I live in less formal times. Dad never approved of my smoking cigarettes, so it really meant something to me when he gave it to me. It was the first time he showed the willingness to accept one of my decisions even though he didn't approve of it. I haven't had a cig in seven years now, but I keep that holder just because.
11. Scripts - I was never into sports, but I did a lot of acting in high school, and had a good time of it. I still have the script from every play I was in. It's what I was good at.
12. Paperweight/paper clip holder - These are matching pieces made from marble, given to me as a Christmas present by an old girlfriend. We were together for three years. I couldn't stay with her for several reasons that aren't important here, but she was an important part of my life for quite awhile, and it doesn't seem right to get rid of them. I've heard some bad things about her lifestyle in the last couple of years. I do hope she gets things together.
13. My old record colllection - I've seen bigger, but this is respectable, and has a few rarities in it, like Badfinger's "Straight Up", the "Lake Shore Drive" lp by Alliotta, Haynes, and Jeremiah, and the flame cover version of Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Street Survivors". Yeah, one of these days I'm going to buy a new cartridge for my ol' turntable. The hours I spent with this collection could never be counted, and were a great joy in my youth.

I guess I'm just an ol' softie.........................

Okay, EVERYBODY SING ALONG........

Hempy birfday to youse!

Hempy birfday to youse!

Hempy birfday, dear O'Tim

Hempy birfday to youse!

And many s'mooooooooooooores!

Jen, you may now commence the spankings..................

Dig this clown.

Evidently, he was so wrapped up in watching the news on 9/11/01 that he forgot to shave. Then he decided that he would not shave until Osama Bin Laden is captured. After deciding that the rest of us give a rat's ass, that is.

Evidently, he figures that he can help find Osama by looking just like him. Either that, or he's converted to Islam, but needed a cover story to fool the neighbors. Or he's one of those goons who needs to feel that he's making a contribution, even though he's really just living his life as always. Perhaps he's too cheap to buy a ribbon magnet for his car.

I have news for you, Fuzzface. No one is looking for Osama. The military group that was conducting a halfhearted sham of a search has been disbanded. You can grow that thing until you can use it as a sleeping bag and that won't change.

Hope you enjoyed your 15 minutes, dumbass.

I , however, intend to take REAL steps to aid my beloved country in her time of crisis. I, Joe the Troll, hereby state that I will not appear on American Idol until Osama Bin Laden is brought to justice.

So there.

Autumn, actually, enjoyed a resounding win in last week's poll. The cooler temps and wild colors were the most popular among those that voted. I never enjoyed those things that much when I was a kid in Illinois because of the hayfever (I grew up in the country next to a five acre alfalfa field) and the asthma attacks that the hayfever would herald. Fall was "indoor time" as I looked forward to the first frost. As I've aged, I've become less susceptible to attacks, and New Mexico doesn't seem to have the allergen intensity in the fall that Illinois has. Instead, I have a smaller allergy problem over more of the year. I do miss my faveorite thing about fall in Illinois, though....... Oktoberfests! There are a few here, but when people are drinking tequila and eating green chile stew, it just isn't the same.

This week's poll will be a little different - no clicking! This one has too many possible answers to list. Here's the question:

What two people from history would you most enjoy an evening's drinking with?

Of course, one could have different answers for different goals. I could, for one goal in particular, see going out with Mae West and Josephine Baker, winkwinknudgenudgeknowwhatimean? I'm not talking about that, though. I'm talking about the two people in history who you think would be the most fun, most engaging, most interesting conversationalists to tip a few glasses with. Who's mind would you most want to get into?

My choices are Ben Franklin and Mark Twain.

Both noted for enjoying a drink, both famous for wit and intellect, I can think of no two better people with which to share an evening in a pub. It's very possible that by the end of the bottle, we'd have solved the world's problems. Of course, we'd no doubt forget the solution entirely by the morning, but what matter? No one would be likely to listen to it anyway. It sure would be fun getting there, though, and just think! The stories these guys could tell! 

So, who would be YOUR drinking mates?

I've long been on record as someone who doesn't care much about song lyrics. Many people feel that the lyrics MAKE the song, but I was cured of that by the epic works of Yes in the 70's. As much as I liked the music, I just had no idea what Jon Anderson was going on about with that magnificent voice of his. The attitude was further reinforced by Janes's Addiction, who did a couple songs (Ain't No Right, Been Caught Stealing) that had music I liked but lyrics that I totally disagreed with. For me, it's the music, and the vocals are frequently just another instrument.

Of course, to every rule, there is an exception, and one of the biggest exceptions to this rule is the legendary Mose Allison. His lyrics are always worthy of attention, the music is lively and engaging. His songs are like beautiful jewels in a precious setting.

Mose's lyrics matter because they are poignant and truthful on one hand, yet sly and funny on the other. He has a knack of making you consider some of the more serious aspects of life without making anyone's burden heavier. In fact, by giving his songs a humorous bent, he tends to help lighten the load.

Starting out in the 50's,Mose, a native of Tippo, Mississippi, saw his greatest success in England. His cool, silky voice and stylishly aggressive piano was a great influence on much of London's youth, including a young Pete Townshend. This lead to The Who doing two of his songs: Young Man Blues and Eyesight to the Blind. This was just a drop in the bucket of Mose covers, though. There have been dozens, by people from all over the music scene, including Bonnie Raitt (Everybody's Cryin' Mercy) and Hot Tuna (Parchman Farm, a song about life in a prison work camp). Listening to his piano, it is easy to hear how he must have influenced Page McConnell of Phish. It was the Who covers that made me try out one of his discs, though. The second I heard that cool, silky voice singing The Seventh Son, I knew I was hooked for good.

He's still performing today, and his songs are still being done by others. The Pixies have even done a song about him, titled simply "Allison". If you get a chance to see him, do it. I'll be jealous.

This week I have to share two songs, and I had a hell of a time narrowing it down to just two! Both are from his December 4th, 1999 performance at the Rialto Theatre in Tuscon, Az. His fingers are as nimble as ever, and his voice, while perhaps a little less silky, is still VERY cool. The first is one of his most popular and more serious tunes, the second is a more humorous one that everybody can relate to. Let me know what you think of them.

Click here to listen to "Everybody's Cryin' Mercy"

Click here for "Your Mind is On Vacation" (Dedicated to my Eternal Nemesis)

In two weeks: This group was the first, and to my knowledge the only, to have albums in the #1 and #2 American chart slots at the same time.

1. If looks could kill, squirrels would be our deadliest enemies.

2. Freud was a naughty little person.

3. Hills are much harder to climb at 10,000 feet.

4. The sun has mastered the art of not being seen.

5. Chili Mac is ready-to-go; no need to sit in it.

6. The woods can be very quiet considering the fact that almost everything in the woods can make a noise.

7. Caveman TV - You can't go wrong with the classics.

8. Racoons are cute, frolicsome, and entirely unwelcome, the thieving little bastards.

9. There is nothing darker than true country dark.

10. Standard camping gear should include Bean-O.

11. Physics does come in handy after high school, after all.

12. O'Tim - "Don't tell me this town ain't got no heart!" Joe the Troll - "Some, but I'd say it's got more colon."

13. "Get as much moe as you can!"

The title, like much of the list, is an inside joke. Don't sweat it.

The other day, I recieved a very nice surprise in my e-mail. It came from Anders Lindgren, who plays viola in the Swedenburg String Quartet. I posted about him in Trolling the Underground because he played with Max Roach. This is the first and only time that a musician about whom I've posted has looked me up and written me about it. With his permission, I reprint his note here:

Thank you for your amusing and entertaining site. I was positively
surprised to find our live recording from a Munich on the Web, sounding so
well...
I might add that it was a lucky break for us, the Swedenborg Quartet,
to tour with the great Max Roach ... Always a bebop fan, I just couldn't
believe it when we got this gig: 17 concerts in 7 different countries
in three weeks. Everything from clubs in Nickelstein, Austria, or Bonn,
Germany, to Philharmonie Berlin (live on German television) and
Cyclodrome Madrid (8000 + people). I can't think of any other jazz musician
that kept himself so up-to-date and dynamic and it was sheer joy to work
with him ( and a source of personal pride for me, as well ...).

Thanks again for the kind words, Anders! I hope we'll see you here now and again. I'm sure that your comments would add some flavor to future Trolling the Underground posts!

Now, where's my e-mail from Jeff Beck?