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Tuesday, December 18, 2007
It's tough turning white these days.
As frequently happens, the muse woos as I peruse the news.It seems that a black newscaster is turning white. Here's a quote. Lee Thomas' skin is betraying him. His once brown, even complexion is now mottled with pale patches around his eyes and mouth, along his nose and on his ears; his arms, shoulders and chest are speckled and blotched. "I'm a black man turning white on television and people can see it," says Thomas, an anchor and entertainment reporter for the local Fox Broadcasting Company affiliate. "If you've watched me over the years, you've seen my hands completely change from brown to white." Of course, the first thing I thought of was the film Watermelon Man, where a white bigot turned black. What would this guy's movie be? Yankee Pot Roast man? Apple Pie a la Mode Man? Corned Beef and Cabbage Man? My second thought was "Well, that's what working for Fox will do to you." Evidently, it's the result of a condition called "vitiligo", which prevents the skin cells from producing pigment. The article says that Michael Jackson had this back when he was black. The humor drains from the article after that. Thomas goes on to explain how he's been using makeup to cover the condition for years. That seeing it on his hand once frightened a little girl. That people with this condition tend to stay indoors for long periods of time. Why? To avoid stares, ridicule, and rejection - the stigma of turning white. But why should that be? Isn't being white the key to success and riches in America? Shouldn't he be getting progressively higher pay, quicker promotions, and readier access to voting machines? Perhaps it doesn't work that way as frequently as some would have us believe. In the end, a once funny thought becomes very sad. It shows once again, just like this did, that we just haven't matured as much as we like to say we have. It highlights the fact that the race issue is far from one-sided, as well. Despite all our talk about leaving racism behind us, and despite our PC hand-wringing and tsk-tsking from all quarters, we as a "diverse society" still let the pigmentation of our skin cells determine a lot of what we think of each other - and of ourselves.
Posted at 09:05 am by Joe_the_Troll
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Monday, December 17, 2007
Blogsturbation Under the Mistletoe.
Posted at 04:44 pm by Joe_the_Troll
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Sunday, December 16, 2007
American Asshole : Lori Drew
 There I was, just a couple minutes from posting the American Asshole ballot, and I was trying to think if I had missed anyone. I had a bunch of assholes listed, but it didn't feel quite done. I decided to surf for a few minutes, and see what popped up. When I saw Lori Drew, I thought "How did I miss her???" I then thought, "There's no way she's going to lose." I was right. My hopes of putting Phelps in faded quickly. I don't think anyone else has won AA with such a clear margin in the first round. I didn't even vote this time around, because a vote for or against Lori could not have made a difference (not that my votes ever DO). She was the clear winner. And boy, she deserves it. If you don't know why, let me first say "Welcome back to the western hemisphere", and then you can read it here. No need to go into the details when so many of you know them already.  Not only did her actions infuriate every living being with a touch of decency in its soul, but so did the fact that evidently, harrassing a teenage girl to suicide was perfectly legal at the time. A lot of people wonder still how this could be. After all, if someone did the same thing that she did (that is, start a fake MySpace account and pretend to be a teenager) for a different reason, say to have sex with the child, that person could go to prison without even having to complete the crime. When the object, however, is emotional damage rather than sexual abuse, and the adult in question is TOO SUCCESSFUL, well, there is not a thing the law can do. Plainly put, that's fucked up. At least we have good ol' reliable mob mentality to fall back on. Their address, phone number, and cell numbers were posted on the internet (don't worry, lurkers, I swear it wasn't me this time!). Their business was closed down because they started getting some negative reviews, and I'm sure more than a few phone calls and cancellations. This Zabasearch site shows a sprinkling of America's attitude toward Lori, and bloggers almost universally reviled her. The family of the child she targeted has been destroyed.Her response to the bereaved mother? "Get over it." She seemed, in fact, to be reaching for greater assholitude by publishing this blog, MeganHadItComing. This was an Ode to Assholiness, a diatribe putting forth the notion that Megan's fate was deserved. At first it was from the viewpoint of another teenager, then it was claimed to be Lori herself. Then it was suspected of being a hoax. As it stands now, the posts that blame Megan are gone, and someone named "Jeff" is taking credit for the blog. We may not know who started that site, but we can be certain that the site itself is the work of a grade A asshole.  She's so hated, people put on the "blurry face" when they think they may be photographed with her!
On top of it all, she is suing the family she victimized because they took an axe to a foosball table they were storing for her. I don't think I need to tell you who I would have taken the axe to, were I Megan's dad. Now, if the problems with this family were so long-lasting and two-sided as she now claims, one must wonder why she would have asked them, out of all her neighbors, to store something for her.
The police have been watching her house for her family's protection, as there have been a few instances. They are looking for some back door to indict her with, but if that doesn't happen, Lori and her family will have to move. But where? I doubt even a log cabin in the back woods of Idaho would be safe. She might want to start pricing some real estate in South America. Or, perhaps, the Autralian outback. Because while this was a small poll on a small blog, this is not a small result.
Almost all of America has voted her the Asshole of the Month. And a lot of them aren't as nice as we are.
Posted at 09:16 am by Joe_the_Troll
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Thursday, December 13, 2007
As I'm sure you've all suspected, I just live for creative writing. That's why I haven't done any fiction in over 20 years - I'm saving and internalizing that muse's song, intending to let it explode in an literary storygasm one of these years. No, not really. Don't have much feel for it at all, in fact. I've been, however, tagged and nagged, but at least no one is trying to have my blog shut down over it, so what the hell. This came from here. I woke up hungry. I pulled my bedroom curtain to the side and looked out on a hazy morning. I dragged myself into the kitchen, in search of something to eat. I reached for a jar of applesauce sitting next to the sink, and found it very cold to the touch. I opened the jar and realized it was frozen. ( Splotchy) "That's strange," I said out loud to no one in particular. My fingers slowly reached towards the jar again. My body experienced a wave of apprehension as weighted blanket covering me as I did so. The jar was completely frozen.
I picked it up and stared at it, my fingers stung with little knives of chill. "What the..." again I spoke aloud. Then I realized what had happened with a shock. Suddenly the jar flew from my hand. It shattered creating a collage-like mixture of frozen applesauce and glass shards on my kitchen floor, the lid lazily rolling to a stop across the room. ( FranIam) I stood for a moment considering what all this meant. Oh, I knew what it meant, I didn't need to waste time thinking about it. He was back. And he was mad.
I ran down the hallway and flung open the door at the end. I was immediately hit with a blast of cold. I took a step back as I tried to catch my breath. I bent over, hands on my knees panting. He always had this remarkable effect on me. After so much time, it no longer scared me, but it was a shock nonetheless……
"You know," I panted, "There's no need to break things to get my attention." ( Politits) I woke up in the same position as in my dream, on my knees. I was sweating even though the room was freezing. ( Mathman6293) I was used to the house being quite cold in the mornings, as the night log usually burns out around one a.m. when I am dreaming cozily under my covers, not normally waking to put a new one on until morning. I was surprised because on the rare occasions that it actually had reached sub-freezing temperatures in the house, I had awakened in the night to restart the fire. I would have been worried about the pipes before P-Day, but there hadn't been running water in two years and that was one of the few advantages to being dependent on rainwater, no pipes. ( Freida Bee) The nightmares began during the following spring. The apple trees came to life in my dreams. At first the trees spoke and I thought they were amusing. That changed when the messages arrived. Lately, their anger was directed at me. ( Mathman6293) There is only one thing to which I can attribute this shift. Since the shock wore off of realizing that Coker's P-Day "festivities" had split me into two identical, morphable beings (what did it take - two, three weeks?), I spend much of my time trying to advance to the simultaneous rather than the sequential. I haven't progressed to an understanding of the chronological differences of the continua, nor am I absolutely sure there are just the two. But from everything he's displayed to this point I know Coker can't be happy that I am making progress, and so it appears that somehow he's broken through and is giving me shit during the only time I can recharge. I've got to find a place where I can focus one hundred percent. This cold weather combined with a slowly increasing Green Time isn't helping.How many more are there like him? And are all of them as paranoid about their power? Surely there's an individual out there, a collective perhaps, that's hip to newbies and sees spreading the knowledge of the planes as the only way back to sanity, the only way toward the sublime society that Vandreau advocated for so many years before the fucking wheels fell off. ( O' Tim) Perhaps, I thought, I should just kill myself. After all, who can truly say which is better - to escape the pains and heartaches of life, or to fight against them in the slim hope of winning? The Sleep that is Death would be a rest from all the pain that life brings. I could really use a rest like that. But suppose, in this "sleep", I begin to "dream?" That could be a bitch. After all, the sort of "dream" might one expect in the final sleep is a daunting thought to consider. That's what can make a long life such a sad thing. I mean, who would put up with all of life's bullshit - oppression of many sorts, insults, the betrayal of false lovers, slow justice, infuriating politicians, and abuse from people who have no right or call to abuse- when he could just put a dagger in his chest and get away from it all? Who would bear the burdens of this world and sweat and drag himself through life if it weren't for the fact that fear of something that may happen after death, from which no one can return, makes us think twice about trading the problems we have for something potentially worse, like Hell. These second thoughs can make cowards of all of us, turn determination into hestation, and prevent us from attempting something grand.Oh, look - here comes that hot little bitch, Ophelia. Darlin', I hope you remember me in your prayers. (Joe the Troll)
Posted at 06:16 am by Joe_the_Troll
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Wednesday, December 12, 2007
More Fucking Harrassment.
Last night, I received this e-mail. Hey Joe,
Could you please remove all personal information
you've posted of others from your entries?
It would also help if you didn't do this in the
future.
Sorry for the request. We've got rules and
such.
We'll be forced to disable your blog if this is not
done in 24 hours.
Well, NOW we know why Mark REALLY took that post about me down. That "I'm protecting other people named Mark Firestone" bit was obviously too stupid to believe unless you're one of his giggle-toys. He was just preparing to act on warm, loving Earth-mother PJ's advice that he try to have my blog shut down for the insult of playing his own game better than he did.
I mean, HE PUT HIS OWN NUMBER ON THE WEB, WHERE IT STILL IS. It takes a special brand of gullibility to think that I endangered him with information that he himself had already posted. He simply can't stand the fact that you all know he was stupid enough to do it. Now you know what an underhanded, phony little whiner he is - for the umpteenth time.
It was on December 1st that Jefe wrote a comment to the effect that if I stop going to Mark's blog, Mark will leave me alone. I informed him that he was incorrect, because that had been my first ploy, and the attacks just kept coming. I did offer to prove it to him, though, so I haven't gone there since. It lasted 10 days. A mere 10 days before he's trying to have me shut down. And I've left him and his blog completely alone. Don't even try to tell me that he's being "reactive."
So be careful when you deal with him, if you are unfortunate enough to do so. If he sees you as a threat - and he obviously feels threatened by me - he'll concoct an excuse to try and get you shut down. This is how he "handles disagreement." This is how he handles speech he doesn't agree with. This is why he's a hypocrite and a liar every time he gets on his fucking pedestal and waves the flag - a flag that stands for freedom, strength, and bravery. Because when it comes right down to it, he does not want any free speech except that with which he agrees, and is coward enough to slink around behind one's back to get one removed from the internet.
You know, Mark, when you threatened me online, I didn't go to the authorities. But then again, I figured you'd be too much of a pussy to ever actually try anything. But the point is, I didn't go "running to mommy." Perhaps I should. I wouldn't doubt that your threat broke a law or two. Shall we find out? After all, you didn't do that at YOUR blog, where you could delete it and pretend it didn't happen. Your threat is still there in Lucy's comments.
Not enough stupidity? Okay..... how about this comment that showed up today?
I'm going to say this as a lawyer, you need to take
this post down lest you find yourself in the midst of a libel action.
Unlike Mark's decision to post your IP address (which contains no real
indentifiable information), this is actionable.
And all of you who back this aren't any better yourselves.
Well, Folly - (or should I call you "Carol", or "Bar Slut?") you're just showing, once again, that "lawyer" does not equal "smart." First, you've already told us that you aren't a trial lawyer, so let us not pretend. Secondly, "libel" requires that you prove:
- That I published something about Mark that is untrue. Mark is the one who's been publishing lies, over and over and over. So that should be fun.
- That the info I published has caused Mark to suffer a loss. The only loss Mark has suffered is the loss of intelligent friends who don't like the way he acts. Oh, and any semblance of manhood, but I didn't take that away from him. He never had it in the first place.
So, no, Carol, I don't think you're going to sue me for libel. Thirdly, if you had bothered to read before you posted, you would have seen that the phone number had already been replaced by text and the links were disabled. I did that yesterday when your pussy boyfriend had Blogdrive send me a threat. I didn't mind. The existence of the threat shows, once and for all, that Mark KNOWS deep inside his little heart of hearts that he is nowhere near being smart enough or man enough to deal with me by himself. Oh, and you seem to think I'm scared of legal action on the basis that I endangered Mark. What a laugh. No judge is going to accept that I endangered Mark by linking to info that Mark himself posted. Only regular readers of his blog are stupid enough to buy that. Like you. I'll give you credit for one thing, though - you didn't make up some stupid fucking pseudonym like "Jesus of NM" and use a proxy server. Small credit, to be sure, but deserved. So, what advice do people have for me now? I've tried leaving him be, and he can't let it rest. He keeps dredging up old shit, posting with glee about my misfortunes, mocking my mother's death. I've tried sticking to the actual topic at other people's blogs, and you know he can't do that. Once a fact gets thrown in his face, he's back to his own blog throwing his poop like the simian intellect he embodies, making up anything he can come up with to discredit me so no one will notice that he cannot counter my argument itself. Fighting back only makes him go runnning to your blog provider to get you shut down. Is there anybody - anybody besides Mark's mouthpieces, that is - who is going to continue telling me that I am in some way provoking this? Is there any doubt that it is Mark and his Witches of Eastwick that have the obsession? I was - more than once- accused of organizing efforts to make everyone hate Mark. None of you have seen these efforts. Can anyone doubt, though, that Mark has done the exact thing to me that he, Gekko, and PJ have all accused me of doing to him? Certainly JennyJinx and Blogfest Tim, who both recieved "watch out for Joe" e-mails, can't. And Mark - just for curiosity's sake - have you EVER in your life handled a problem on your own, instead of running to a woman or an authority figure to handle it for you? You never face me head-on. You run to your blog, where you can alter comments, to take swipes at me but normally have someone else come here to bash me. Don't you get tired of hiding behind skirts? Haven't you ever wanted to stand up for yourself like a man, instead of acting like a little boy? By the way - that site you put up with your phone number? Might want to take it down. That is, if having that number on the web REALLY endangers you. If it DOESN'T, then what is this all about? If you leave that number up, you admit that this is not about the danger of having personal info on the net.You are admitting, by leaving that page up, that this is just ANOTHER in a long list of ways to get even with me for not liking you. Poor baby.
Posted at 08:36 am by Joe_the_Troll
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Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Two Rules!1 - For each question, type the answer into Google search.2 - Post a picture from the first results page (I used the "image search".)
1. Age at next birthday  2. A place I'd like to travel  3. My favorite place  4. My favorite object  5. My favorite food  6. My favorite animal  7. My favorite color  8.Town where I was born  I was surprised to see this come up on the "Elgin, Il." search. This is the house on the corner of Liberty & Chicago, one of the grandest in this old blue collar town. I used to know the couple that lived in it, but we didn't really hit it off as friends.
9.Town where I live  10. Name of a past pet  11. First name of a past love  Mine was a redhead, though.
12.Best friend's nickname  I have no idea why this came up in the search, since I wasn't looking for "Hulk", "Leader," or "Comic Book Guy." It was the most interesting one to come up, however.
13. My screen name  14. My first name  15. My middle name  16. My last name  17. Bad habit of mine  18. My first job  19. My grandmother's name  20. My college major  Now, some of you may be thinking that I cheated on at least two of these, not actually Googling the pictures, but you're wrong!! I only cheated on one. As you know, I don't normally tag people for memes, preferring to let people choose for themselves what they'll blog about. So I'll only tag O'Tim.
Posted at 08:03 am by Joe_the_Troll
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Friday, December 07, 2007
O.K., maybe I'm dumb, but I have to ask.
 What the hell IS that thing?????????
Posted at 11:26 am by Joe_the_Troll
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Thursday, December 06, 2007
Trolling the Studio : Traffic's "Low Spark" Sessions
 I can still remember the first time I heard The Low Spark of High Heeled Boys. I was in high school, and it must have been my senior year because I had just smoked a bowl in the basement. When I came upstairs and went to my room, my buzz was just starting to kick in, and I flipped on the radio. That song was playing, and that hypnotic, steady bass line dragged my ass right down to the floor. I sat there like Buddha - cross legged, eyes closed, and letting every beautiful note wash over and through me. I've been a Traffic fan since. I still don't know what the song is about, but here's a boatload of theories to start with.While Traffic was a band with a distinguished career and many great albums, Low Spark just seems to stand out. The entire thing is great from start to finish, and most of it was available to FM listeners of the day. I remember at least four of the LP's six songs getting regular play - a ratio even today's most popular releases do not enjoy anymore. It was the band's most successful album in the U.S. Not bad for a band everyone had given up for dead many years before. I was fortunate to see the core of Steve Winwood and Jim Capaldi (and I'm not sure who else, certainly not Chris Wood, who was long dead, or Dave Mason, who was in Fleetwood Mac that year) reunite as Traffic in 1994, when they toured as the opener for the Grateful Dead. While I frequently blew off the opening acts in favor of the parking lot scene, I made sure I was in to see Traffic both nights. I'm glad I did - both sets were fantastic (despite the poor live performances I've heard on some older boots) , and as of Capaldi's passing will never happen again. Unfortunately this was post Brent GD, therefore no big Dear Mr. Fantasy jam, which sounds just awesome in my imagination.  Aside from Winwood (guitar, keys, vocals), Capaldi (percussion, vocals) and Wood (sax, flute) the band also consisted at this point of Rick Grech (bass, violin), Reebop Kwaku Baah (percussion) and Jim Gordon (drums) who is the unfortunate lunatic I referred to in yesterday's final clue. The music I'm sharing today comes from the Low Spark sessions at the Olympic Studios in London in 1971. I'm sure there is plenty more - this is just one disc and doesn't cover all the songs on the album. It does, however, include three "unknown jams" and demos for a couple Capaldi tunes that Traffic never did (he may have done them solo, I don't know.) While I wish I could post a nifty version of Low Spark of High Heeled Boys, I can't. The version here has some different percussion, and the sax solo doesn't sound exactly the same, but the piano solo does, as do the vocals. Overall, it's not that different from what we know. I can share a completely different arrangement of the album's single, though. Rock & Roll Stew has long been one of my favorite Traffic tunes, and this alternate arrangement is cool as hell. It's a little simpler and less layered than the release, and feels a little more like a straightforward rock song.  Capaldi, Reebop Kwaku Baah, WinwoodThe next is one of the unknown jams, all of which are cool. This is the third and longest, and it features the Muscle Shoals Horns. It's called Unknown Jam #3 w/Muscle Shoals Horns. I swear, I have no idea where they come up with these titles. What do you think of it?  At the last minute, I've decided to include a third cut, simply because it it so unlike anything Traffic ever actually did. In fact, it sounds more like something Arlo Guthrie would do. It one of the Capaldi demos, and is a solo acoustic, very folksy sounding tune. It's called Easter Weekend demo #2. According to Google, this bootleg is the only way to hear this song, because no Capaldi albums came up in the search. Oh well. I do have to say that I enjoy the novelty of an acoustic guitar demo from a drummer!
Posted at 04:39 am by Joe_the_Troll
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Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Musically Speaking.......
Have you seen what O'Tim & Jefe are up to? You should!
Are you in the Christmas spirit? Nat is! She's not doing the same old same old, though. She's posting a different Christmas song every day, and so far there has only been ONE that I've heard before. If you think you're ready for some new tunes this season, Nat's is the place to be!
And if that isn't enough to soothe your savage breast, return here tomorrow for a new Trolling the Studio, where I'll explore one of the most popular albums of the 70s. Any guesses?
Posted at 12:49 pm by Joe_the_Troll
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Saturday, December 01, 2007
American Asshole: November
Posted at 06:50 am by Joe_the_Troll
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