1. Streaking - It would have been better if it wasn't usually guys.....
2. Pet Rocks - People WILL buy ANYTHING.
3. Disco - What rock 'n' roller DIDN'T want to club Andy Gibb like a baby seal?
4. Rocky Horror Picture Show - I get bored as soon as the Time Warp is over.
5. Wacky Wall Walkers - I found one of these damn things in my chili mac once.
6. Rubik's Cube - Never solved it, but didn't really try, either.
7. Break Dancing - I was glad I lived in the country, where no one expected you to do shit like this.
8. "Baby On Board" signs - Oh, you have a kid? Maybe I'll try not to hit you, then.
9. Piercings - This can REALLY BE OVERDONE.
10. Wassuup? - This one almost made me homicidal.
11. Mood Rings - If you need a ring to display your moods, you just might be a little inhibited, eh?
12. Lava Lamps - A decorative way to tell the world "I smoke way too much pot".
13. Alligator shirts - Classic dorkwear.

As I've stated before, a lot of bumper stickers bug me a little. Not so much the funny ones, though I really don't see the point of telling the same joke every day for years on end. The ones I don't get are of the "I support this" or "I believe that" type. There's one I see far more than others, so I'm finally going to rant about it.

I know you've seen it, too. It's the one that says "Proud to be an American".

Now, I can hear some spines stiffening already, but fret not. This has nothing to do with my feelings about America, and everything to do with how I feel about pride.

I see pride as coming in two varieties. The first is deserved pride. This is the pride you earn through your actions. If you do a good job at work, you can take pride in that. If you buy a crappy looking house and fix it up so that it becomes beautiful, you have a right be be proud. If your children are polite and helpful to old ladies crossing the street, you can take pride in the fact that you raised them well. There is no harm in taking some pride in your accomplishments, especially if they took a lot of time and work.

Then there is another pride, which I call vain pride. This is the type that the Bible warns us about, the kind that cometh before a fall. This is pride taken in something that you had nothing to do with. This is the kind expressed in the bumper sticker.

Now, it would be appropriate if someone immigrated here, learned the language and the history, jumped through the hoops, took the test, and became a citizen. They've accomplished something. They aren't the people with the sticker, though. The ones with the sticker are soccer moms in SUVs and rednecks in pickup trucks. They are "proud" because they just happened to be lucky enough to pop out of the womb within the United States. Of course, they don't feel that other people who do that have a right to be proud..... not if their parents weren't citizens. Those people are, of course, a drain on our superior society.

This is a dangerous and egotistical pride. It says "I'm better than people who were born elsewhere- or SHOULD have been born elsewhere". It says, "I deserve to be proud simply because I AM." It's the type of pride that leads one to think that anything their country does is right, simply because it's THEIR country doing it. It's a pride that says " When America says jump, France should say 'How high'". It's a pride that actually had people expecting the Iraqis to shower us with love and thanks for bombing them.

What other accidents of birth are these folks proud of? Are they "Proud to be white"? "Proud to be tall"? "Proud to be non-Jewish"? "Proud to be upper-middle class"? Just how much pride can these folks take in their various natal situations? How much work does it take these folks just to be Americans? 

So there's my problem. It's a cheap, egotistical mindset, held by those that don't feel that pride is something that needs to be earned. It's vain and dangerous. Taking pride in something you lucked into is entirely inappropriate.

So what, you are thinking, would I suggest as being appropriate? Something a bit more humble. How about this-

"Thankful that I'm an American".

It seems like everyone else is doing this questionaire...............

GRUB-OLOGY

What is your salad dressing of choice? Thousand Island
What is your favorite fast food restaurant? KFC
What is your favorite sit down restaurant? Tucano's Brazilian Grill
On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? 20%.
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Shrimp
Name three foods you detest above all others. Bananas, Liver, lima beans
What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant? Kung Pao chicken
What are your pizza toppings of choice? Sausage, Mushroom, extra cheese, and more extra cheese.
What do you like to put on your toast? Strawberry Jam.
What is your favorite type of gum? I don't do gum.

TECH-OLOGY

Number of contacts in your cell phone? 15
Number of contacts in your email address book? Several dozen.
What is your wallpaper on your computer? Adam receiving the touch of life from the Flying Spaghetti Monster's noodly appendage.
What is your screensaver on your computer? Black screen.
Are there naked pictures saved on your computer? Yup.
How many land line phones do you have in your house? None.
How many televisions are in your house? One.
What kitchen appliance do you use the least? The coffee maker, since my stomach problems have made me switch to tea.
What is the format of the radio station you listen to the most? Talk, if I listen to local radio at all.
How many sex toys do you own that require batteries? None, but one is steam powered, and another requires a team of oxen.

BI-OLOGY

What do you consider to be your best physical attribute? My fingers. They can do things that normal fingers cannot.
Are you right handed or left handed? Right.
Do you like your smile? I never really look at it.
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Wisdom teeth and an alien anal probe.
Would you like to? The other wisdom teeth, sure.                                                    Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom? No, I prefer to yodel. 
Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? Hearing.
When was the last time you had a cavity? A few years ago.
What is the heaviest item you lift regularly? Cases of table paper.
Have you ever been knocked unconscious? No.

MISC-OLOGY

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? Yes. Party the night before!
If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? Your Excellency.
How do you express your artistic side? Write, mostly. A little photography.
What color do you think you look best in? Brown.
How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison? As long as I have to.
Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? Absolutely- medicine is not food.
If we weren't bound by society's conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at? I haven't seen a relative outside my immediate family in 15 years, so you can guess my level of interest.
How often do you go to church? As often as I'm invited to weddings.
Have you ever saved someone's life? Not that I know of, but who can tell?            Has someone ever saved yours? A doctor did, when I had a MAJOR asthma attack as a kid.

DARE-OLOGY

For this last section, if you would do it for less or more money, indicate how much.

Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000? Yes, but if the street in question is called CASTRO, I'll be running at full tilt.
Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? No.
Would you have sex with a member of the same sex for $10,000? No.
Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? No.
Would you never blog again for $50,000? Probably.
Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? For that much, I'd pose naked in Humpty Dumpty.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? Depends. Some hot sauces could be done like that, others hurt just touching the bottle.
Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000? I'd have to see their voter registration card first.
Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000? Sure.
Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000? Yes, but just for a year. I'll miss Jeopardy and TCM!

Rehearsals provide some fantastic boots, for many reasons.  First, they're always well recorded, because they're taken off the soundboard by the road crew. That means that the signal goes directly from the mixer, which puts all the instrument and microphone signals together in the proper proportion, to the recorder. This gives better quality, of course, than a microphone sitting somewhere in the audience an untold (usually) distance away. The music is interesting as well, because you are hearing the artists try out ideas that they may or may not use in concert. Some things sound cool, others sound half baked, but the fun is in listening to the idea develop. You also get to hear some of your faves screw up royally, which, of course, is what rehearsal is for. That is why they record themselves- to hear what they did with an audience's ear, and pick out the things that don't work BEFORE doing an actual performance.

In this case, the rehearsal recording is the only way to hear this particular band lineup, because it never happened onstage. David Bowie had tapped an unknown guitar talent named Stevie Ray Vaughn to play guitar for his "Let's Dance" album, which did very well in the stores. Stevie, at the time, was also in the process of recording an album- the second recorded, but the first to actually be released. He agreed to tour with Bowie, but then dropped out. Some sources say that he needed to tour for his own album, released just a few months after "Let's Dance".  Others cite "disputes". Either way, SRV was replaced, and went on tour with Double Trouble instead.

Now, on the surface, Bowie and SRV go together like ham and chocolate. Listening to the discs, you can spot several instances where Stevie's style simply wasn't appropriate to the song. Examples include "Heroes", where he tried to play Robert Fripp's part without the Frippertronics, and "Station to Station", where Bowie HAD to long for Carlos Alomar. However, he did sound good on a lot of songs, especially those written with a bluesy style in mind, or those re-arranged to fit him. This week I will share one of the latter.

TVC15 is one of my favorite Bowie tunes, and I like this version because it's very different from any other I've heard. This song normally has a honky-tonk sound to it, but this version is very bluesy, and lets SRV cut loose for a couple blues riffs. It's a fun listen, and an interesting glimpse into the band that never happened.

Here's David Bowie with Stevie Ray Vaughn playing TVC15 on April 27, 1983

Congrats to jollykay for figuring it out! The full show is already on its' way!

Next week: What's that smell like fish, oh baby?

I was heading into one of the prettier stretches of road in my biweekly travels - the Rio Grande Gorge southwest of Taos- when I heard the news that Pink Floyd founder Syd Barrett had died. His music and that of his band have meant a lot to me since I discovered it in high school, and the news startled me. I just turned off the radio and let "Lucifer Sam" and "Interstellar Overdrive" run through my head.

Nat has a link to the details. I'll just pay tribute to Syd with pictures and songs. They tell one of rock music's most poignant stories.

The first cut comes from Pink Floyd's first recording session. They recorded two songs, the first being blues standard "King Bee". The other was called "Lucy Leave" and was the first Syd Barrett composition to be recorded. These were made into acetates, but never officially released. Here you hear a fresh, strong Syd, ready to take over the world with his new band.

Here's The Pink Floyd Sound "Lucy Leave" recorded Oct. 1965

The next song is from one of Syd's last shows with the Floyd. His bizarre behavior had become a massive stumbling block for the rest of the band, and they were at this point wondering what to do about him. This performance occurred shortly before Dave Gilmour was asked to join the band to form a short-lived 5 piece arrangement. Syd was out of the band within 3 months of this recording.

Syd definately doesn't have the energy he had in Lucy Leave, but this song, Jugband Blues, doesn't require it, and Syd pulls it off with a twist in the middle that differs from the LP version. I listen to the lyrics and wonder if Syd didn't have a better understanding of his imminent insanity than people think.

Here's The Pink Floyd "Jugband Blues" Dec. 20, 1967

The next is a Syd Barrett solo tune, done for the BBC. It's called Dominoes, and showcases a far more tentative Syd than before. David Gilmour played bass for a lot of Syd's solo outings, but I can't be sure he plays here.

Here's Syd Barrett "Dominoes" Feb. 16, 1971

After a couple albums and many lost recording sessions, Syd was no longer able to work in the music business. He retired to live with his mom and paint, while the band he named went on to superstardom.

The last selection is a Sydless Pink Floyd, singing a song about- and to- Syd at the Oakland Coliseum Arena. It's a song I'm sure is on all four of their minds this week. It's called "Wish You Were Here".

Here's Pink Floyd "Wish You Were Here" May 9, 1977

Fare thee well, Syd. Shine on.

Cheezy has a nice tribute to Syd as well.

The previous post has spawned a discussion of sorts about legends. It's been said that the assignment of that term to a particular individual is subjective, and that's certainly true. I think that the statement "So and so is a legend in his field" can be rationally debated, however, and here are some guidelines I use in making that distinction.

First, the person must excel in the mechanics of his/her field. If that is physics, the "legend" must be in the forefront, developing theories that are beyond the norm for physicists. Albert Einstein would be a physics legend. If that field is guitar, the "legend" must first be a virtuoso. Being a star isn't enough- any half-baked jerk with a horseshoe up his ass can be a star. William Hung proved that. Being a star that plays guitar isn't enough - Bruce Springsteen is a guitar player, not a guitar legend. People rave about his songs and his performances, not his guitar licks. To be a guitar legend, one must be better than excellent at PLAYING THE GUITAR. The Boss is good - not extraordinary.

Added to that, this virtuosity must be inarguable. In other words, a non-fan should feel obligated to give credit. There are people who may not be Eric Clapton fans, and feel that he is overrated. If they said, however, that Clapton couldn't play guitar to save his soul, they'd get little support, even from other non-fans. Even someone who doesn't care for Clapton's songs and style have to credit his ability and status. Same for Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, and Hendrix. By the same token, I would say "I don't care for Springsteen's music or his style, but he's definately become a rock legend in his own right."

To be considered a legend also takes time. You may be a virtuoso, but will you last? Will you leave your mark? Will you make a difference? Time is the factor, as Mark noticed, that made Stevie Ray Vaughn a "future" legend in 1983- you can't become a legend the same year your debut album is released. To reach legendary status, you have to either excel in your field for 25+ years, or burn brightly in that field before an untimely death.

Finally, I consider it a factor that the true "legend" crosses genres. If people who don't normally pay attention to what you do have heard of you, you may be a legend. People who didn't listen to blues still listened to Stevie Ray. People who don't like country can still recognize- and respect- Johnny Cash. I have no interest in baseball, but I know the names Ruth, DiMaggio, Stengel, Mantle, and Mays. Legends all.

So you can see why, according to my system, Kurt Cobain falls short. His appeal was certainly not cross-cultural. I don't know anyone that liked Nirvana who wasn't predisposed to like hard rock. Anyone who isn't so disposed dismissed them offhand, without feeling obligated to respect their ability. Furthermore, he was by no means a "virtuoso". This is not subjective. You may like a musician's style, but that does not make that person a virtuoso. For instance, I like Lou Reed and Ian Hunter, but neither has virtuoso status as guitarists. That comes from the respect of other guitarists, something that Stevie Ray Vaughn had in spades.There will never be a book called "How to play guitar the Kurt Cobain way." However, a book called "How to play with guns the Kurt Cobain way" might clear some of the algae out of the gene pool.

I HAVE heard it claimed that Cobain had a profound impact on his fans. I've even heard him called "The voice of a generation", although that makes me think that the generation in question must have suffered from various congenital defects (although to be fair, my generation's biggest protest song was Sammy Hagar's diatribe against the national speed limit). I think it cheapens the idea of a legend when it's applied to someone too weak to keep living, though. Especially someone with a wife and kid, and everything in his favor. Pussies can't be legends.

All that said, I have SLOWLY come around to liking SRV. There are still a lot of blues guitarists that I personally prefer.

But there is no doubt that he is a guitar legend.

As far as unofficial recording goes, we are living in a golden age. Not only are more bands willing to let people patch in to the soundboards, but stealth recording is much easier than it used to be. This is because the new digital recorders are smaller and can record for much longer than the old tape units, and with the better microphones available these days, they can give great quality.

The "stealth recording" era really began in the early 70's, when tape decks became managably small, but many enterprising souls made do with the old reel-to-reel jobs. One fellow I read about got some great Pink Floyd tapes by going to the shows in a wheelchair, with the deck mounted under the seat!

As I've demonstrated, however, it doesn't have to be a stealth recording to count - it just has to be unreleased. That means that recordings from radio and TV make the rounds, as well. That also means that my little hobby can reach much further into the past than the 70's. One of my oldest boots, in fact, is from 1954.

I gave a clue to this week's feature, along with a contest. The clue was "The most recognizable voice of the 20th century". The contest was a copy of the full show to the first person to guess who that was. Well, no one came close, because everyone was thinking of people who could have been recorded from the audience on the sly. As the General Practitioner said to the Gynecologist, "You've got to think outside the box."

What voice, known to people of all generations, could possibly be as instantly recognizable as the gravelly tones of Louis Armstrong?

You don't have to be a jazz fiend to recognize ol' Satchmo (short for Satchel Mouth). In fact, if you don't know Louie's voice, I HAVE to ask when you left your home in the rainforest. Louie was not only a distinctive voice- his style literally re-wrote the book on singing. I find it impossible to sing along with him on a song I know, but have never heard him do before. He'll leave me in the dust with some ingenious phrasing that would never have occured to me in a million years, and you know he did it off the cuff! What's more, once you've heard Louie sing it HIS way, any other way seems just moronic. As evidence, I point toward two "must have" jazz discs. First, check out the tune called "Cottontail", as well as the rest of The Great Summit between Louie and Duke Ellington. I love this disc so much that when a 2 disc "Complete Sessions" version was released, I bought that, too. The other is called Louis Armstrong meets Oscar Peterson, his magnificent teaming with the piano great. The entire disc is a gem, but the tracks "Let's Fall in Love", "Blues in the Night", and "Let's Do It" will put the hurts on anything you thought was great singing before that. You should get these both immediately. Go ahead, I'll wait.

But he wasn't JUST a singer, he was a world class trumpet man as well. His style with the horn was every bit as distinctive as his vocals. I can identify Louie's horn in a song I've never heard, just from the way he plays it. No one else, even his imitators, had Louie's "in your face" style of playing. He always blew bright and strong, with powerful, slow notes that got his point across with no questions. Even his melllow, sweet songs were that direct- but no less sweet for that.

Louis cut his jazz teeth in the early days of the Jazz Era with King Oliver's band, and swung his way though that and the "Big Band" era. By 1954, though he was still a popular act (for the older set), his Dixieland style was about as "in" as the Lindy. In fact, the "hipsters" of the time looked down on Louie as a washed up old Uncle Tom. Of course, most of those "hipsters" were shooting heroin, stupidly thinking that it would make them sound like Charlie Parker.  Louie left a legacy that few others can even come close to touching, and thankfully lived to see that fact appreciated.

This week's selection comes from UNC at Chapel Hill on May 8, 1954. While Louis and his band play a fantastic set, it is a little short on the vocal genius that I extolled. The cut I chose, "A Kiss to Build a Dream On", is oh so sweet, however, and demonstrates both his voice and horn style.

Who can deny that the world is just a slightly better place for having Louie's beautiful music in it?

Click here for Louie Armstrong asking for A Kiss to Build a Dream On.

Next week: In 1983 a future guitar legend rehearsed with a famous singer for a world tour he never played on. Who can name them both?

1. Debbie Harry - Singer for the rock band Blondie.
2. Gloria Steinem - Writer and publisher.
3. Lauren Hutton -  Formerly yummy actress.
4. Carol Cleveland - Comedienne, best known as the "7th Python".
5. Susan Sullivan - Actress, best known as Kitty on "Dharma and Greg. "
6. Dr. Polly Matzinger - World famous immunologist. There can't be many.
7. Sherilynn Fenn - Best known for "Twin Peaks". The tv show, that is.
8. Kimba Wood- Federal Judge.
9. Dale Bozzio- Zappa/ Missing Persons singer, nude model.
10. Julie Cobb - Actress/Yeoman, daughter of Lee J. Cobb.
11. Kathryn Leigh Scott - Vampiric beauty from "Dark Shadows".
12. Jackie Zeman - "General Hospital" regular.
13. Katy Mirza - Hell, who cares what else she can do?

Well, O'Tim has joined me in my fiendish ways, by craftily snagging a membership at Dime-A-Dozen, the best (and hardest to join) of all the download sites I frequent! It's good to have a future trading partner here in Blogovia. You will soon, no doubt, hear him raving and drooling over the musical pulchritude to which he is now exposed!

Meanwhile, the Pink Floyd download site Yeeshkul is reborn today, with a new tracker and plenty of membership availability. Anyone who wants to build an unofficial Pink Floyd collection will do well there.

I have also found a new place for the Deadheads to download their boots. Lossless Legs seems to be picking up in the absence of the Music Never Stopped Project. You don't have to be a Deadhead,, though..... I just saw some Koko Taylor, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and Black Crowes for DL there, among others!

Viva la revolucion!!

You may have noticed that my taste in music so far runs toward songs with long instrumental passages. Virtuosity is, indeed, the key to my attention. I have great admiration for those who perfect that which I have never had the patience or discipline to even really begin. For that reason, and the fact that I have little patience with cliche'd lyrics, few of my favorites frequent the Top 40.

So why is Blondie at the Apollo Theatre in Glasgow on December 31, 1979, one of my most frequently rotated boots? Because this was a farooking great band, that's why. While they weren't doing anything in King Crimson's league, they had catchy songs that weren't too simple to sound smart, and they played them very tightly. Debbie Harry gets the credit for the band's success, and while she was a good singer with all that a pubescent male could want (click here for proof), she would have been a flash in the pan without a solid band behind her.

Besides, this was New Year's Eve, the last night of the 70's. The joint was crackling, and that energy shines like a diamond. The crowd was hot, the band was tight, and this recording is one hell of a party disc.

While my need for virtuosity has made me shy away from a lot of pop music, it's made me run from most punk. The main (well, only) exception is the Ramones. Most punk bands wanted to be taken seriously, but didn't deserve to be. They could hardly play their instruments at all, but I was supposed to buy this as "rebellion against corporate rock" instead of the lazy ineptitude it sounded like. I was supposed to care about their "political message", even when it was just a bunch of whining. And to top it off, I'm close minded and brainwashed because I think a band should be more than that.

 The Ramones stand out because I didn't need to take them seriously. They didn't care that one song sounded a lot like the rest, they just cranked it out. They didn't have a "message". They sang about girls, drugs, and hanging out. I could just enjoy the energy, a cathartic release when I felt like belting someone. I don't listen to them often, but every once in awhile I have a "Ramones mood." So I have their show from the Palladium in NYC, New Year's Eve 1979. A few hours after and an ocean away from Blondie's ringing in of the new year.

So this week I have a double header - the songs that each of these bands were playing closest to the falling of the ball, as well as I can determine. Enjoy, and Happy New Year!!!

Click here to hear Blondie do "Sunday Girl" with a Scottish twist at Glasgow's Apollo Theatre on Dec. 31, 1979.

Click here to hear the Ramones ask the crowd at NYC's Palladium "Do You Wanna Dance?" on the same night.

Next: The most recognizable voice of the 20th century.