Entry: Gallows Poll Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Well, the poll about the lily-livered microcephalic that stole my chimichangas came out all over the place, with "Other" being the favorite. Here's the finale:

 

Entry: Stolen Lunch at Work Poll



The guilty one should be found and:
Reprimanded
8%
Fired
8%
Severely Beaten
17%
Sent to Guantanamo
8%
Shot
8%
Drawn & Quartered
17%
Other (explain)
33%
Total Votes: 12

   8 comments

 Posted by Miz UV @ 10/17/2007 02:52 PM PDT
Shot, absolutely. See, this is why I'm not in favor of a gun ban. We have to be able to shoot dirty rotten lunch-stealers. Next thing, they'll be taking home the good pens and using the postage machine for their kid's thank-you notes. Just nip it right in the bud, I say. No second chance.
 Posted by Sinja @ 10/17/2007 08:47 PM PDT
After the second lunch is stolen, what you do is lace it with an incredible amount of laxative. Ultra-powerful stuff. Then, listen to the grapevine and see who doesn't show up to work the next day... or three.

Then when they come back you kick them in the crotch.
 Posted by Joe the Troll @ 10/17/2007 09:42 PM PDT
Hey, Sinja, long time no see. I was thinking along those same lines, except for one detail. Since it was burritos that were stolen, perhaps the next ones should be laced with Dave's Insanity Sauce. That stuff just plain HURTS.
 Posted by O' Tim @ 10/17/2007 10:55 PM PDT
I voted other, thinking the perp should have to do your grocery shopping and make your lunches for a week. But shot works too.
 Posted by nat @ 10/18/2007 07:11 AM PDT
Sent to Git'mo, man. Let them have a free lunch on the US gum'mint.

But I like the Dave's Insanity idea, too. Oh, that could be so much fun to watch. Or you could bring something laced with about a bulb of garlic in it, then the breath would give him/her away.

Of course, you'd have to pack your real lunch and keep it in your own desk, out of the sneaky hands of the culprit.
 Posted by raejane @ 10/18/2007 02:06 PM PDT
I said 'fired'.

don't fuck with my food!!
 Posted by N1tootsie @ 10/22/2007 03:02 PM PDT
given bathroom duty for the year. let them smell like what they are.
 Posted by Joe the Troll @ 10/22/2007 03:03 PM PDT
"let them smell like what they are."

LOL!
 
I think this may be the first time that every option got a vote!
 
Anyway, the next poll is much more serious in nature, and deals with a graver offense. It regards this fresh news item here.  
 
Poll is to the right!
 

   4 comments

Sour Grapes
October 30, 2007   03:03 PM PDT
 
Murder requires premeditation, and an intent to kill. I don't think there's any suggestion the boy wanted to kill the dad. Throwing a pole like that is the kind of thing you do in the heat of the moment, probably more out of frustration than malice. I mean unless you're some sort of assegai warrior.
Joe the Troll
October 30, 2007   03:38 PM PDT
 
Technically, only 1st degree murder requires premeditation, but I agree with you. All murder charges would do is make this family suffer more. If they must convict, Involuntary Manslaughter would be the most I can really see, and that at a juvenile level.
nat
October 30, 2007   04:48 PM PDT
 
Did you ever discover who the culprit was?
Joe the Troll
October 30, 2007   06:05 PM PDT
 
No, and I haven't baited a trap yet, either. Maybe after midterms.

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