Entry: The 13 stupidest questions I heard while serving on the grand jury (along with the replies I somehow kept to myself) Thursday, November 15, 2007


1- What time did all this happen? (Oddly enough, car theft is illegal 24/7.)

2- Do you have GPS installed in your truck? (This has what do do with running the old people off the road??)

3- Were there children in the car?  (Do you think that if there were children in the car with the crack dealer, the D.A. or the testifying officer might have mentioned that?)

4- Was it snowing at the time? (Does clear weather make it less reckless to drive east on the westbound side of a six-lane highway?)

5- Was there any testimony besides the confession that implicates the target? (WHAAAAT???)

6- Is there a reason you didn't charge him with....(conspiracy, intent to distribute, child endangerment, etc.)  (Why yes, there probably is!)

7- Did you test him for DWI? (Well now that you've mentioned it, I'm sure he'll think of it next time.)

8- What was the argument about? (Really, it's the stabbing that matters, isn't it?)

9- Were there any open containers in the car? (I think they might have mentioned that, as well. They like to press charges.)

10- Could he have broken into the room with the children? (I'm sure he could have, but he didn't, so let's not waste time trying to charge him with it, 'kay?)

11- Do you rent the apartment where you were assaulted? (Yes, this question came from a real estate agent. Let's do our prospecting somewhere else, shall we?)

12- Did you see where the blood on his shirt was coming from? (Well, * just going out on a limb here *, but perhaps it came from the bullet hole in his chest?)

13- Can I take this call? (In the middle of hearing testimony? I can't imagine why that would be a problem. Let's just stay on the record, shall we?)
   7 comments

Miz UV
November 15, 2007   06:22 AM PST
 
Those are great! I hope I get called for grand jury duty someday; I bet I could get some good writing material out of it.
Cheezy
November 15, 2007   09:22 AM PST
 
Ha! Somehow I'm not surprised by the question the real estate agent asked though...
Jenna
November 15, 2007   09:31 AM PST
 
Oh, I needed that laugh. Thanks for sharing!
Kat
November 15, 2007   10:28 AM PST
 
I've been called 4 times for jury duty. Never had to serve for various reasons though. You'd think out of the 750 000 some odd people in my city that those are pretty astounding odds. Too bad it wasn't the provincial lottery. I'd be a millionaire several times over.

On another point, my brother told me he had a waitress answer her cell phone in the middle of taking his order.
Joe the Troll
November 15, 2007   11:12 AM PST
 
That's just plain rude, Kat, but in our case it's actually a legal issue. Grand jury is a closed-door procedure. The phone should not even be on, much less answered. The validity of the indictment could be called into question if there was any thought of outside contact, influence, or leaking of info such as subpoena targets and such.
nat
November 15, 2007   01:16 PM PST
 
See, you are just too smart and reasonable to serve on the grand jury!!!
Mike
November 18, 2007   11:04 PM PST
 
I've served on a jury once and it was a pathetic experience. I was left wondering how we put anyone in jail. I'm sad to say that most people are apparently sheep and are easily led. Attorney's worst enemys are those who can actually think for themselves and can block out the BS. Maybe there needs to be a test for potential jurors. Maybe there needs to be a test for potential parents, drivers, gun owners, voters, the list goes on.

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