Entry: 13 of the stupidest things politicians have ever said. Wednesday, August 16, 2006

 

From the book, The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said by Ross and Kathryn Petras, 1993.

  1. Things are more like they are now than they have ever been.  President Gerald Ford.
  2. In every country the Communists have taken over, the first thing they do is outlaw cockfighting.  John Monks, Oklahoma state representative.
  3. All along the untrodden paths of the future, I can see the footprints of an unseen hand.  Sir Boyle Roche, Irish member of British Parliament.
  4. The United States has much to offer the third world war.  Ronald Reagan, speaking about what the U.S has to offer the third world. He made this mistake nine times in the same speech.
  5. Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here.  Vice-President Dan Quayle, giving a speech during a visit to Hawaii.
  6. I am in control here. As of now, I am in control here in the White House.  Secretary of State Alexander Haig, after President Reagan was shot. He was actually fourth in line of succession.
  7. When shall the lion of autocracy walk hand in hand with the floodgates of democracy?  James Sexton, Member of Parliament.
  8. Why can't the Jews and the Arabs just sit down together and settle this like good Christians?  Overheard during a Congressional debate; also attributed to British politician Arthur Balfour.
  9. Get the thing straight once and for all. The policeman isn't there to create disorder. The policeman is there to preserve disorder.  Chicago mayor Richard Daley.
  10. We're finally going to wrassle to the ground this giant orgasm that is just out of control.  Arizona Senator Dennis DeConcini.
  11. Why would we have different races if God meant us to be alike and associate with each other?  Lester Maddox, former Governor of Georgia.
  12. That's the most unheard-of thing I ever heard of.  Senator Joseph McCarthy.
  13. You know, I've always wondered about the taping equipment. But I'm damn glad we have it.  President Richard Nixon.
   16 comments

Paula
August 16, 2006   10:57 PM PDT
 
"Sure, I'd love a blowjob."
Cheezy
August 17, 2006   01:28 AM PDT
 
I've reckon that particular sentence has always been an eminently sensible thing to say, Paula! It's served me well anyway.... ;)
nat
August 17, 2006   05:55 AM PDT
 
I love that these are ALL politicians! (at first I was surprised there were no Yogi Berra quotes, but hey, ALL of his quotables are stupid!)
Joe the Troll
August 17, 2006   07:18 AM PDT
 
There's a special Yogi Berra section in the book these came from.
Fez Monkey
August 17, 2006   08:59 AM PDT
 
I'm surprised "Mission Accomplished" didn't make it ... sure, maybe it was just on a banner, but still.

Oh, better yet, "Bring 'em on."

Stupid. Oh yeah.
Jeff Kos
August 17, 2006   09:03 AM PDT
 
I can't wait for the revised addition to the book you're getting these from, the one with the special section on W.

"There's an old saying in Tennessee. I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee, that says: Fool me once... shame on...Shame on you...If fooled, you can't get fooled again."
Joe the Troll
August 17, 2006   05:13 PM PDT
 
Don't be surprised, Fez. The book was published in 93, and had no Dubya or Clinton.
jollykay
August 17, 2006   08:22 PM PDT
 
okay, then that makes sense because w is the king of the stupidest things ever said. (i was surprised at the lack of w in your post)
O'Tim
August 17, 2006   08:50 PM PDT
 
My fave is #3, cuz the absurdity took a second to hit me and then I was LMAO.

Do a back log search on Doonesbury for an archive of Shrubisms.

Nat, don't slam Yogi! Some of his are pricelessly witty.

On hotel accomodations: "The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase."

Upon being told he looked cool: "Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself."
nat
August 18, 2006   06:33 AM PDT
 
Chill, I wasn't slamming him! He's either a wickedly sly genius or a complete idiot, though. (and I mean that in a good way)
Joe the Troll
August 18, 2006   07:24 AM PDT
 
O'Tim.... I loved that one, also. It's stupid on so many levels. Number 5 has to be my fave, though. I saved the Nixon quote for last because it was the most ironic.
O\' Tim
August 18, 2006   10:57 AM PDT
 
I think Yogi has a natural, as opposed to cultivated, sense of wit that puts him smack between genius and idiot.
Tim
August 19, 2006   08:04 PM PDT
 
I miss Quayle. God he was so stupid it was hillariuos! Even W. is smarter than him.
Stef
August 20, 2006   12:50 AM PDT
 
I remember that Reagan speech with the Third World War in. *shudders*
bill
August 24, 2006   08:30 AM PDT
 
tim, congratulations on your entry into the list. including a typo in a sentence that contains the phrase "he was so stupid..." automatically puts you in the top 25.
Joe the Troll
August 24, 2006   08:39 AM PDT
 
Ever misstype something, Bill? Is your name SUPPOSED to be not capitalized? Jeez, didn't making an issue of typos on the internet become something that mature people don't do a long time ago?

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